X-Files

Episode Report Card
Jessica: B- | 1 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
4-D

I guess they didn't arrest Moronica right off the bat, because here she is in Doggett's hospital room, holding his hand and looking brave. Doggett, for his part, looks awful, all gray and paralyzed and whatnot. Skinner and Scully enter the room, solemn-faced. Moronica nods toward the armed guard at Doggett's door and snips something about them "making sure [she] doesn't finish the job." At this, Skinner nods at the guard, who takes off for a coffee break, or a smoke, or to kill himself. Moronica wonders if Skinner really believes she shot his boyfriend. "No, but it doesn't matter what I believe," Skinner says. Scully, however, advises that "Follmer's case" has "some potential holes" in it. First and foremost, Moronica was at home, fourteen miles from the crime scene, when Skinner called to tell her that Doggett had been plugged. Second, although the ballistics from the bullet match her gun, tests showed that her pistol hadn't been fired. I wonder how DPB is handling that so-called hole in his case? "She threw the bullet at him really, really hard, your honor." Moronica asks them about the eyewitness. "You know we can't discuss that," Skinner says. At that moment, they all notice that Doggett is rolling his eyes around, and tapping his finger on the blanket. Scully races over and begins to examine him, warning that it could easily just be a muscle spasm. "That's not a spasm. That's Morse code," Skinner says. Wow, Doggett sure is resourceful! Everyone stares at his finger as Skinner translates. Morse code: the language of hot gay love. "What'd he say?" Moronica asks. Skinner holds up his notepad. "Lukesh," Scully reads, with an Old-School-style eyebrow. "What does that mean?" Moronica asks. Scully eyebrows her. God bless the eyebrow. I feel a hundred times better, now that it's back. Never leave me again, eyebrow!

Across town, Lukesh is taking his mail out of the box, and looking appropriately shifty. He goes upstairs and enters an apartment. "Who's there?" calls an elderly-sounding crotchety old lady type. "Is somebody there? Irwin, is that you?" Lukesh sighs. "Who else would it be, Mama?" he answers. Well, no wonder he's cutting women's tongues out: his mother named him Irwin. Mama though Irwin was gone for an awfully long time! Lukesh takes a bottle of Clamato out of the fridge and starts making a drink. He calls out that he was gone as long as he said he would be gone. "God, I was all alone! And I heard the knob rattle! Somebody was rattling the knob. It was robbers, I'm sure of it!" Mama tells him. She's like the poor man's Livia Soprano. While she whines in the background, Lukesh opens a drawer to reveal a gun, sitting neatly on a pile of napkins. He fondles it lovingly for a moment, before he brings his mother her Clamato, as ordered. The theme song to Days of Our Lives pours out of the open bedroom door. "Could you make me my hot sandwich so I can eat my sandwich while I watch my show?" Livia II asks. Lukesh trudges back into the kitchen. This episode is all about sandwiches! Evil sandwiches. Livia II calls after her son, asking what kind of sandwich he's making her. "Potted meat," Lukesh responds. "Have I had it before?" she asks. "Many times," Lukesh says, from inside the refrigerator. "You love it." Then he turns around. He's holding a severed human tongue in a bag. Tongue in a Bag is the name of my new album. In stores now! Also, sandwiches? Not quite as appetizing anymore. ["No, Jessica, NO! If you give up your love of sandwiches, the terrorists have already won!" -- Wing Chun]

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11Next

X-Files

Comments

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP