X-Files

Episode Report Card
Jessica: B- | 2 USERS: B
YOU GRADE IT
all things

Bright light. On and off. On. And off. On and off and on. Moby plays in the background. Like Mulder would listen to Moby. Gillian Anderson listens to Moby (a lot, apparently, since he's all over this episode, which she both wrote and directed). Mulder listens to ELO. Lights: on and off. On and off. On and off. Okaaaaay. Mulder, in casual wear, clicks his precious slide projector off and on a few more times and then starts loading his slides. The Wherefore Wert Thou Last Season, Oh Time Stamp? informs us that this is sixty-three hours prior to Scully doing the walk of shame home from Mulder's. Moby. Moby. More freaking Moby. I liked this album, too, but jeezum. We pan over to a portable CD player. Moby. Moby. Moby. Somewhere, Eminem gnashes his teeth. Mulder twitches his butt in time to the music as he puts slides in the projector.

Enter Scully. Mulder holds up his hand in greeting, and she says something I can barely hear over the music. She makes a crabby face and snaps off the music, telling him that she got the lab to "rush the results of the Sznznznznznynnyznzny autopsy, if [he's] interested." She drops a white paper bag on Mulder's desk and starts to unpack lunch. Mulder mildly remarks that he heard her the first time. She tosses him a burrito and unwraps a salad, telling him that the Snyzyzyzyzyggyzynnnngzyzygggy woman didn't die "as a result of the inhalation of ectoplasm, as [Mulder] so vehemently suggested." Mulder raises a brow and asks what she did drown in, then. "Margarita mix," Scully retorts. Blah blah blah, drinking, blah blah blah woods, blah blah Blair Witch Project blah blah dated pop culture reference blah. Mulder thinks this set of information demands further investigation. Scully shirtily informs him that it does not. He shrugs and tells her they have "bigger fish to fry," anyway.

Mulder walks around the slide projector, revealing a slide of crop circles projected on their screen. "Is that beautiful or what?" he asks. Scully is unimpressed. He blathers that it's computer imaging, or some such, and takes a giant bite of burrito. Scully stares blankly at her salad as Mulder explains that most people don't realize that there's been an increase in the size and complexity of crop circles over the last few years. Scully looks bored. Mulder keeps talking about crop circles. Scully examines the lettuce in her salad. Mulder talks more about crop circles. Scully takes a bite. Mulder just looks at her and keeps on talking. "In 1997, even more complex circles occurred and I'm not wearing any pants right now," he finally says. No reaction from Scully. Silence. Silence.

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X-Files

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