Episode Report Card
Jessica: B- | 2 USERS: B
all things

Finally, this registers, and Scully looks up with a "hmmmm?" Mulder raises his brows. "You're not listening," he says. "I am!" Scully insists, then chews thoughtfully. "I guess I just don't see the point," she finally tells him. Mulder explains that the point is, some computer has predicted that in forty-eight hours, there ought to be a complex set of crop circles appearing in a random field in England, and he'd like to get there before it happens. At this, Scully puts her foot down. She's not going to England. She still has to finish the paperwork on the autopsy he made her do. "And, to be honest," she says, "it's Saturday, I wouldn't mind, you know, taking a bath." Let me see: taking a bath versus England with Mulder? Someone's priorities need adjusting. Mulder makes a face. "What the hell does that mean?" he snaps. "What it means, Mulder, is that I'm not interested in tracking down some sneaky farmers who happened to ace geometry in high school," Scully says. Mulder stares at her. "And besides, I mean, what could you possibly get out of this? Or learn? It's not remotely FBI-related," she says. Mulder chews his cud and nods. "I'll just cancel your ticket," he finally says crankily, taking a bite of the burrito and dropping it in the bag. "Thanks for lunch," he mutters with his mouth full. Scully rolls her eyes. "Mulder! Look, we're always running. We're always chasing the next big thing," she says. He puts his coat on and just stares at her. "I mean, why don't you get just stay still?" she asks. "I wouldn't know what I'd be missing," he says and leaves in a huff. The clicker for the slide projector falls to the floor as Scully stares at the empty walls and looks frustrated. The slides merrily click click click. I swear, the longer I recap the show, the more I suspect I'm turning into a noromo. I mean it. Sometimes I just think these two are wrong for each other. They seem to cause each other an immense amount of aggro. And they're each other's entire social structure. That can't be healthy. I mean, sure, I buy that they're hot for each other -- I mean, they're both gorgeous -- but love? I'm beginning to suspect they'd just make each other miserable.

So, the sound of the clicker clicking turns into a pencil tapping impatiently on a counter and I know Gillian Anderson is trying to do something Deep and Metaphorical with this whole incessant tapping thing (like, aurally representing the idea of time ticking by or something), but it's really just plunging me into a coma. And while, as you all know, I think Gillian Anderson is a really good actress and certainly no worse a writer or director than half of the people who've worn those hats professionally for this show, I kind of feel that this episode is just Trying Too Hard, and that it's actually more about Gillian Anderson than it is about Scully. Which is sort of frustrating. On the other hand, I know this episode had the shit edited out of it by 1013, so it's hard to say who to blame for the many problems I have with it. Anyway. We're at, per usual, a hospital. Scully walks up to the pencil-tapping receptionist and monotones that she's there to pick up a post-mortem folder. Man, Scully. Do you have to be so glum? I mean, I know you had cancer and your sister got shot and you can't have a baby and -- okay, never mind. One of the receptionists hands her the white envelope. In slow-mo. Scully takes it. In slow-mo. The pencil taps. In slow-mo. I yawn. In slow-mo. Finally, we switch back to regular-mo, as Scully signs for the envelope and turns to go. The Oboe of I Can't Think of Something Funny For the Oboe Because My Brains Have Melted in the Heat plays plaintively. Scully opens the envelope and removes an x-ray, which she examines with a frown. She glances at the envelope. It says "J Szczesny" (because 1013 can't name someone, say, "Jane Allen" when a name I can't spell will do). But, see, the x-ray is labeled "D. Waterston." Scully looks stricken. Because "D. Waterston" is such an unusual name! It simply must be that old dude with whom she had an inappropriate relationship when she was younger!

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