X-Files

Episode Report Card
Jessica: B- | 2 USERS: B
YOU GRADE IT
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Scully stumbles back to the reception desk and tells the nurses that she was supposed to get autopsy results. The nurses buzz around and finally get the right result, apologizing for the mix-up. Scully turns to go, then comes back and asks if the "D. Waterston" is "a Dr. Daniel Waterston." And it is! How convenient. Or, you know, fate or something. Whatever. Turns out he was admitted to the "coronary care unit" that morning and is now in room 306. Scully blinks thoughtfully.

Scully hits the coronary care unit and finds room 306, where a woman about her age is talking to a doctor. "Everything appears to be as it should, under the circumstances, so I wouldn't worry," the doctor says. The woman -- who looks sort of like Jorja Fox from C.S.I., but isn't -- nods. Scully ducks behind a wall until the doctor and NotJorja leave. Looking pale, Scully trudges in to see the patient.

Beeping. Staring. Ding! Another ding. And another ding. Oh, Gillian, stop it with the damn dinging. What's that supposed to be, anyway? Is it Scully's biological clock? One-note wind chimes? An attempt to drive Mark Snow mad by insisting that he just tap one note on his Casio over and over and over and over again? Has Mark Snow, for that matter, perhaps passed out on said Casio, after too much Boone's Farm? Scully stares into the room. "Excuse me? Can I help you with something?" the doctor asks. Our heroine identifies herself as "Dr. Scully" and makes some comment to the effect that she was at the hospital and she just happened.... The doctor asks her to step out into the hallway. Scully does, looking tremendously uncomfortable.

The doctor explains that he's the patient's cardiologist, Dr. Kevorkian (or something like that). And that Waterston patient mentioned her. Scully sputters that Kevorkian must be mistaken. But he's not. "You were a student of his, right?" Kevorkian asks. Scully blushes. "He has a heart condition?" she asks. All over North America, people get up for a snack. "Yell when Mulder comes back," they tell their roommates. Their roommates just snore. When I decided to recap this episode, I was thinking more about, like, all the nutty New Age stuff that Gillian Anderson learned about in Kabbalah class and shoehorned in here, and, of course, the whole Did They Or What? Conundrum. I forgot about this whole Scully Had An Affair With an Old Dude and Has to Reevaluate Her Life Whilst Talking to A Really Boring Doctor part. Yeah, so Kevorkian says some stuff about medicine or heart disease or something. I don't know. I really don't care about this segment. Can we get to the Wacky Healing Lesbian Physicist and the lip-synching to Moby? Anyway, there's a lot of long pauses and medical-speak and it all ends with Scully saying that Dr. Waterston was "a remarkable man" and running away. I'm already exhausted.

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X-Files

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