X-Files

Episode Report Card
Jessica: B- | 2 USERS: B
YOU GRADE IT
all things

Scully walks outside the hospital and gets into her car (which is in the best parking spot in the whole world). Her cell phone rings. "Scully," she spits angrily. It's Mulder, who sputters that he was just going to leave her a message. "I've got that address," he says. He needs her to go see a woman, who's affiliated with the "American Taoist Center." Scully pulls into traffic and into the left turn lane. Her turn signal ticks incessantly. "She researches crop circles?" Scully asks irritably. Mulder tells Scully to "go ahead and roll [her] eyes." Then Scully almost hits a pedestrian: a long-haired blonde woman in a khaki cap and windbreaker. Scully slams on the brakes. The woman just keeps on walking. She turns after a moment and looks back at Scully with a knowing little smile. Scully cocks a massive brow. "Scully? You still there?" Mulder asks.

Scully pulls up outside a lovely Craftsman house and trots up to the front door, which is opened by the Woman from the Wrong Room at the Hospital, a.k.a. the Sheriff from "Detour." "You were!" Scully begins. "At the hospital today!" the woman finishes. "That's strange," Scully says. Scully? Getting abducted and having a chip implanted in your neck is strange. Finding yourself pregnant when you have no ova is strange. Super Soldiers are strange. Running into someone twice in one day is just a coincidence. Or is it? Anyway, Scully explains that she's there to pick up some research for her hot, hot partner and then she's going to go back to his place and finally have some hot, hot sex with him. This prompts the woman to introduce herself as Colleen Azar, and invite her on in. Scully mutters that she needs some fresh air: she was just in a near car accident. Colleen makes concerned faces. "It's nothing, really," Scully mutters and shuffles her feet around. Colleen coos that a car accident -- or a near miss -- isn't "nothing." "It's often the result of us not paying attention to something." Yeah, like the car in front of you? Scully sighs that she just wants the damn papers. Colleen goes to get them. Scully stands awkwardly on the stoop.

Colleen comes back eventually, work in hand. "You think what we do is a little ridiculous, don't you?" she asks. Oh, give her the papers and go back to drinking your chai tea, Colleen. Scully sighs that she has no idea what Colleen really does. "But you've already formed a judgment about it?" Colleen snits. Shut up, Colleen. Scully's just picking some shit up for her co-worker. Do you talk like this to the pizza guy? Scully rolls her eyes and announces that she has to get going. "There is a greater intelligence in all things," Colleen continues. "Accidents or near accidents often remind us that we need to keep our mind open to the lessons it gives." That's an oddly constructed sentence. The lessons that what gives? The mind? The accidents? Whatever. Colleen begins to hand over the stuff. "You may want to slow down," Colleen says, as Scully grasps the paperwork. Scully rolls her eyes again. Colleen closes the door. Scully promptly drops the papers everywhere. One, detailing a crop circle based on the "Heart Chakra," pops right out at her. She stares at it, open-mouthed. Her phone rings. I'd like to take this moment to state that while I totally believe that things happen for a reason and in fate, and all that mumbo-jumbo, I also believe that an episode of a television show specifically about fate should, you know, show it in action, rather than literally telling us that, you know, fate is groovy and asking if we can dig it. You know? "Hello?" Scully answers.

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X-Files

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