X-Files

Episode Report Card
Jessica: C+ | 1148 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Audrey Pauley

Moronica is all alone in the Notspital. But truly, aren't we all alone? When it comes right down to it? She sits Indian-style on the floor and waits. Waits to die. But truly, aren't we all waiting to die? At the end? "[Moronica]?" It's Audrey, behind her. She timidly announces that Doggett sent her. "You gave him my message?" Moronica asks. Audrey nods. "He says you don't have very long. He says you have to give them some kind of sign." Moronica's mouth falls open for the seven thousandth time this season. Audrey turns to go. "Are you really going to leave me here to die?" Moronica calls after her. Audrey turns back and stares and wrings her hand and holds her head. "I can't. Do anything," she stutters. "There's something wrong, you know, up here? [she waves at her head] And I can't help anyone. I deliver the flowers! It's all I do. And I have to even get help with that, because I can't read what's on the little cards!" she cries. Moronica runs over to her. "You can't read?" Moronica asks, breathlessly. "I see it all jumbled up," Audrey weeps. I think I saw this on an ABC Afterschool Special once. Moronica reaches for a nearby chart and flips though it maniacally. "This is your hospital," she says. "It's you who created it. It's all you, Audrey!" Staring, as per usual. "This place is all you. Which means that you can make the rules work any damn way that you want them to! You can help me escape!" Crying. Staring. Thinking. Crying. Staring. "Audrey?" Moronica asks. But she's all alone.

Because Audrey is in her room, staring at her model. Dr. Evil is lurking behind her, of course. And after a series of snide remarks, he tries to stab her with a hypodermic needle. "You're not going to yell out, are you, Audrey?" he asks. Right before he kills her. Well, that's just a shame.

Notspital. Moronica is wandering around, plaintively calling for Audrey. She finally reaches the end of a hallway. Things get all wavery, like they do when it's really hot and you're staring at the highway. "Audrey? Audrey?" Moronica calls. Finally, Audrey appears at the end of the hallway. "Audrey, what's happening?" Moronica calls. "You have to go," Audrey says. The two of them make their way to edge of the abyss once more. "This way," Audrey says. Moronica tiptoes over and looks down into the whirling dark clouds. "No. If I do that, I'll burn up. I'll die," she whines. Audrey shakes her head. "No. Not now. But you have to hurry," she says. "What about you?" Moronica asks. Audrey smiles. "I know now. I know who told me to build it." Oh, man! Jesus? Again? No offense, God, but dude. After years of hemming and hawing, Moronica finally does a full-gainer Buffy into the void. Audrey watches and then fades into nothingness.

X-Files

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