Cut to the LBO, where Mulder's working at his desk. He rubs his forehead roughly as Scully tentatively opens the door and comes on inside. Her entire body language just screams "eyebrow." Mulder makes a somewhat rueful "whoops" look, which she doesn't seem to find amusing. Mark Snow cues up the dulcet tones of "Oops, I Killed Someone Again" as Scully tiptaps over to take a seat. She folds her arms across her chest and crosses her legs. Someone's not going to be getting any from his girlfriend/co-worker tonight. If that was even happening at this point, I mean. (It's hard to write these retroactive recaps. What did we know and when did we know it? We don't even know that much.) Scully looks at Mulder pointedly. He looks down at his paperwork. "Mulder," she begins. Mulder points at her and cuts her off. "Don't. Don't even start with me," he says. Scully's eyes are big as saucers. Mulder crumples up the paper he was working on and throws it toward the trash can, missing completely. The ground around the wastebasket is littered with similarly crumpled papers. Mulder gets up and stomps over to the trash can. Scully leans back and looks vaguely disgusted as Mulder kicks the shit out of the trash can, finishing his abuse by jumping up and down on it until it's practically flat. "I know. What I saw," Mulder finally says, trudging back to the desk. Scully crosses her arms and gives him the Quintessential Brow. He sighs and paces and sits on the edge of the deck.
"Skinner wants our report in one hour," Scully finally says. "What are you going to tell him?" Mulder shrugs. "What do you mean, what am I going to tell him? I'm going to tell him exactly what I saw," he tells her. Scully purses her lips doubtfully. "What are you going to tell him?" Mulder asks. "I'll tell him exactly what I saw," Scully informs him. Mulder wonders how this could possibly differ from his tale; she shoots him a scathing "you have got to be kidding" look but says nothing. "Look, Scully, I'm the one that may wind up going to prison here," Mulder wheedles. "I've got to know if you're going to back me up or what?" Scully sits up straighter in her chair, the better to tell him a thing or two properly. "First of all, if the family of Ronnie Strickland does indeed decide to sue the FBI for I think the figure is $446 million [at which Mulder rolls his eyes so dramatically that his whole head jerks back], then you and I both will most certainly be codefendants. And second of all...I don't even have a second of all, Mulder. $446 million! [Mulder shrugs like this is craziest thing he's ever heard and he simply can not believe how litigious some people can be.] I'm in this as deep as you are! And I'm not even the one that overreacted! I didn't do the...thing, with the thing!" Scully sputters, making stabbing motions with her hand. "I did not overreact! Ronnie Strickland was a vampire!" Mulder insists. Scully asks where his proof is. Oh, sweet, Season Five Scully. With all the caring about proof and no crying or farming out psychokinetic babies to strangers. These were, indeed, the days. "Plus, look at my hair and makeup. I look hot," the Scully action figure comments from her makeshift bowl of ice water/swimming pool. We don't know where the Mulder is. We just found a note that said, "Sasquatch sighting in bathroom. See you later." I didn't have the heart to go in there and tell him that the Sasquatch was actually just a ball of hair I pulled out of my brush. Besides, the Scully doesn't seem particularly worried. I'm not even sure she knows he's gone.