X-Files

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Bad Blood

It is at this point that Mulder has his brilliant shoelace breakthrough. He makes a series of Thoughtful Genius faces, then runs over and stares at the corpse's feet.

LBO. "Now, why is it so important that his shoes were untied?" Scully asks. Mulder swears that he's getting to that, and explains that while she was doing the autopsy, Luke took him to the cemetery.

Cut to said cemetery. It's raining, as of course it must be at all times on The X-Files. Luke wonders why Mulder needed to come out to the graveyard. Mulder explains that cemeteries are customarily a haven for vampires. Duh. Doesn't Luke ever watch Buffy? Mulder says that they're looking for any evidence of vampiric activities -- disturbed graves, moaning under the earth, the sound of the undead eating their shrouds, etcetera. Luke's fake teeth are so hideous that I miss half of the lines in this scene simply because I can't stop staring at them. I think the lines I missed just basically established that Luke is a moron with terrible dental work and that Mulder knows a lot about vampires. Mulder tells Luke that his methods may seem "unusual," but....Luke nods, and explains that it's only right for the "fed'rul gov'ment" to do something. I'm sorry, I just can't stop staring at his phony teeth. Mulder reiterates that if the vampire visits the cemetery, they can nab him. Luke just stares at him blankly. On cue, Ronnie pulls up in his pizza delivery mobile and honks, calling a greeting to the sheriff. Luke waves back; they exchange pleasantries, and Ronnie drives away. Mulder just stands there under his umbrella and looks out at the rain. "Maybe after nightfall, Sheriff," he muses, "but he'll come. Oh, he'll come."

After the commercials, night has fallen. Mulder runs through the dark cemetery, sprinkling something on the ground.

LBO. "Mulder? Shoelaces," Scully reminds him. Mulder looks at his own feet, propped up on the desk. "Hmm?" he asks her. "On the corpse," she says, reiterating that he was going to explain what was so significant about the victim's untied shoelaces. "I'm getting to it," he assures her.

Mulder Vision. He takes a seat by Luke in the squad car. "Sunflower seeds?" he offers. That must have been what he was sprinkling on the ground. Luke refuses. Mulder drops one. Luke picks it up, wondering what the hell Mulder was up to out there. Mulder explains that there's one thing all vampires have in common: they're obsessive-compulsive. If someone drops a bag of seeds, the vampire has to stop and pick them all up. They have to untie knots, he says. Which is why the victim's shoes were untied. "Hmmmm," Luke murmurs. "Yeah. Obsessive. Like Rain Man," he says, going on to reminisce about the scene in Rain Man where Dustin Hoffman "picked up all those matches." Mulder rolls his eyes and explains that Dustin Hoffman didn't actually pick them up -- he counted them. "If he picked them up, he'd be a vampire," he says wearily. Luke smiles dorkily, sticking his teeth out, and chortles that he knows he's in law enforcement, but he'd sure like to take that Rain Man to Vegas himself. He laughs obnoxiously to himself. Mulder sits in the passenger seat and prays for death. A call comes over the radio. Apparently, they've got "something of a situation" at the RV park.

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X-Files

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