Let's pay a visit to the Lush Basement Office of Dana Scully and John "You're the Man Now" Doggett, who is currently on the phone with a pal in New Delhi. Chitty chat chat, apparently a death similar to Fred's occurred a few months ago in a posh New Delhi hotel. The victim? An American. The autopsy results? The same details. Doggett hands his partner reams of paper, warning her that most of them are in various Indian languages, but that he got a translation of the autopsy report for her. She reads. The one thing that pops out of the autopsy, to her, is that, at time of death the American weighed more than 33 lbs. more than he did according to his recently issued passport, an amount she thinks is too big to be a little vain lie. The wheels turn. The light bulb goes on. Yada. Scully slowly hypothesizes that a big man is "all the better for accommodation." For something small. Something with small hands. A human stowaway. First, ew. Second, whatever. Doggett is skeptical, in a character development I almost cannot believe; it's so revolutionary and shocking! Frankly, even Scully doesn't sound like she believes her own theory, but she reminds him that she asked him to keep an open mind. Doggett snarks that he's not that open. She sighs that she understands his skepticism. AS DO WE ALL. Dude. Doggett leans back and asks her how she figures the whole "already dead when he boarded the plane" bit into her human stowaway theory. She doesn't answer, and guess what? That's never answered at all in this episode. Why do they keep doing that?
See Quentin's house. See Quentin sleeping. Wake up, Quentin, wake up! See Morty in the corner of Quentin's room. Hear Quentin scream bloody murder. See Quentin's dad rescue him, give him a kiss, and tell him to go back to sleep. See Quentin's dad go back downstairs to watch George Stephanopolous on TV and die. Hear a yell from downstairs. See Quentin find his dad's dead body. Poor Quentin. Quentin is sad!
Do you think anyone is enjoying this season? Even Doggett and Scully look bored. Just wondering.
Back to the house of Quentin. As the poor kid cries at the dining-room table (where a woman I assume is his mother pats him on the head), Doggett and Scully confab. Doggett grouses: "First dead body I saw, I was nineteen and a Marine. This boy? Criminy." I have to give him bonus points for the use of the word "criminy," but his overall Hoary Curmudgeon score is suffering, due to the fact that he has not yet uttered the phrase "dollars to donuts." In the background: more crying, more patting. No hugging, though, and no learning. Oh, that's Seinfeld. Well, it sure applies to The X-Files, too, because God forbid any of these yahoos learn anything about anything. Just keep shuffling around for eight freaking more years, not agreeing with each other and not having sex. I'll be right here, recapping it. AND CRYING TEARS OF BLOOD. Sotto voce, S-Dawg tells D-Man (I told you I was bored. We have to make our own fun sometimes, people. Not necessarily our own funny, though, as is obvious from how not funny that was) that Quentin saw "a munchkin" in his room right before his Dad bought the farm -- a tiny creature with no legs. What the hell kind of version of The Wizard of Oz are they showing these kids? Jesus. She also tells him, in a massive flurry of exposition, that the CSI found palm prints in Quentin's room matching the prints in Fred's, that she thinks Morty came into the house on his own, not in someone's body, and that he crept in through the window. Okay, if a guy with no legs has the strength to climb into a second-storey window, why does he have to travel in other people's bodies? Was that just to get over to the New World to unleash his reign of nonsensical terror on Americans? Doe he just not like his little cart? Doggett points out that Quentin's dad didn't have any of the symptoms that Fred exhibited, other than the fact that all of the blood vessels in his eyeballs all are exploded and shit. Scully makes her Moment of Realization face and tells Doggett that the eyes are "just the first stage!" She literally runs off screen. Doggett stares Meaningfully after her.