Have I ever been this deeply bored before? I do think last week's episode was, to take a grammar lesson from our new president, boringer. That's precious little comfort to me RIGHT NOW, however.
Back to the autopsy room. Still no hot guy. That makes me so sad; poor lonely mysteriously pregnant Scully deserves a little R and R, doncha think? Indeed, we discover that Quentin's dad's abdomen is grotesquely swollen. Close-up on Scully, who actually looks scared, though I find it hard to believe that anything could possibly phase her after, you know, being abducted by aliens twice. She does the Glossy Pursed Lips of Gross-Outossity and takes off her jacket. No baby bulge. Maybe we all dreamed that plot point. Maybe she's just working out a lot, to maintain her girlish Special Agent figure. She approaches the table, grabs a scalpel, and does the world's nastiest C-section, slicing Poor Quentin's Poor Dead Not-Gay (As Far as We Know) Dad's abdomen almost in two. Gross gross gross gross GROSS, GODDAMN, GROSS! This bloody, mucus-y hand pushes its way out and that's when I run into the bedroom and don't come out until it's over. Sorry, folks. Scully, shocked, backs away from the table, knocking over a whole bunch of shit, and conveniently jostling her gun out of its holster and onto the ground. Scully, realizing that she needs her weapon, scampers over to retrieve it, and when she comes up, ready to open fire, Morty -- for it was he inside of Poor Quentin's Poor Not-Gay Dad -- is gone. Blood is simply everywhere, including bloody palm and ass prints leading from the gutted body to a supply closet. Scully follows them, and gives the closet a good going-over, but finds nothing. She looks around one last time, and leaves. In plain view, of course, is Morty, who just sits there and stares. So...he can make himself invisible. And he can climb through people's asses into their abdomens, and then reach down and put their pants back on. And he can shape-shift into other people. Here's where they lose me (again): I have no idea why he needs all three of those abilities. For example, if I could morph into other people, there's no way I would go to the trouble of climbing up their asses. Likewise, if I could make myself invisible, why would I need to morph into another person? I could go around all invisible all the time. I'm so confused. I guess it's time for some more of that distracting blood and guts stuff, Chris Carter! Bring it on!