X-Files

Episode Report Card
Jessica: C | 737 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
The Up My Ass Players

Trevor walks home from school on an idyllic tree-lined street, which I'm sure will hold nothing but terror and agony for him. In the distance is the Monstrous Creek of Morty's Cart of Evil. I'd like to take this moment to congratulate Morty on wooing and wedding the mother of his Poor Dead Son; he's not really big on either charm or good looks. Maybe he uses his power to seduce women in the off hours. Trevor peers nervously over his shoulder. Creak. Creak. Trevor breaks into a run and bails for home.

At home, he runs pell mell into his mother. He lies, tells her nothing is wrong, and runs into the back yard. "Trevor, where are you going? Dinner's on the table!" his mother yells after him. Who serves dinner in the middle of the afternoon, when the kids are coming home from school? Does anyone actually ever read these scripts anymore? Trevor's mom makes a face, and chases him into the back yard, where she finds him laying face down at the bottom of the pool, although it's impossible that he could have run out to the pool, fallen in, and drowned in the one minute he was out of her sight. I mean, at the very least, he'd still be sinking to the bottom. Trevor's mom dives in after him, naturally. She grabs his arm, and turns him around, and suddenly, it's Morty, grinning. She screams -- at least as well as someone underwater can scream.

X-Files

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