X-Files

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Daemonicus

Scully's driving home when her cell phone rings. It's Doggett. She's on her way back to DC, she tells him. "What is it?" Kobalt told the guard where to find Richmond and "end this thing," Doggett tells her. It's a place called Happy Landing. A place, conveniently, right on Scully's route home. She's almost there now! Doggett agrees to meet her there. It's a great idea to meet a serial killer and his henchmen alone without backup, I hear.

Happy Landing. Scully gets out of her car, and starts nosing around. I can't believe she's not waiting for backup! She has a child! Will no one think of the child? She doesn't even have her gun out! Walking. Walking. Walking. She finally draws her gun when she hears something behind her. Scully turns swiftly, but sees nothing. Of course, as she's turning, a man appears behind her. Scully gasps. The Masked Man belts her.

So, the police come racing into Happy Landing, sirens blaring and Kobalt in tow. Doggett races up to the car and sticks his head in the back window. "Where is she?" he demands. Kobalt says nothing. "Where is she, Professor?" he asks, again. Kobalt intones that the game is over. "Tell me where she is right now, you son of a bitch, or I swear to God I'll kill you where you sit!" Doggett yells. "John," Moronica says calmly, like the fact that Scully's missing is no big deal. "You lost," Kobalt repeats. "Where is sheeeeeeeeee?" Doggett yelps. In the distance, a shot is fired. Doggett and Moronica go running off in the direction of the sound. Kobalt grins. His guard stares right at him.

Doggett and Moronica find the perfectly fine Scully inside the warehouse, surrounded by men in sombreros. What the hell? Oh, they're policemen, in wide-brimmed rain hats. I thought this was about to get really surreal. Scully gasps that the Man in the Mask held her at gunpoint, and when the police showed up, he shot himself in the head. Moronica muses that it doesn't make any sense! "Yes, it does. The game's over," Doggett says. He runs out, Scully and Moronica in close pursuit, just in time to see Kobalt running away from the police car. Doggett whips out his weapon and shoots him. Kobalt's body falls into the drink. Or does it?

Okay, so the episode is almost over and I seriously have no idea what just happened there. We return to the classroom for the explanation. Scully's telling her class that it's very rare to have all your questions answered, even when a case is solved. Well, how about none? Because this episode is very confusing. On the other hand, I don't really care what happened, so I guess it doesn't matter. The bell rings, and her students pile out of class. "I'll see you Monday," Scully says, more to herself than to them. She's packing up her teaching materials when Doggett and Reyes come clomping in. They ask if she's filed her case report yet; she hasn't. They'd rather she didn't. Turns out that Kobalt had found out all kinds of things about each of them, including Mulder, "over the internet." They have internet access at the mental institution? Sweet! I'd like to get me some of that institutionalization, in that case. Lots of bed rest. Sunning yourself in the garden. Arts and crafts. Therapy. Sounds great. Anyway, Kobalt got them on the case, by luring them in with the Satanic stuff. "But we know all this already. It was a game, every move was perfect. Except the last," Scully says. But it was perfect; his body was never found. Kobalt is partying with Xena and Noel Roooaoaooaoaoar somewhere, I presume. "Agent Doggett shot him. We all saw that," Scully insists. "Did we?" Doggett asks. He writes the word "Daemonicus" on the blackboard. Why didn't Kobalt "escape with the others?" he asks. What others? Aren't the others dead? Are the others dead? Who are we talking about? What's my name? Which show is this? Where's Dawson? Doggett says something about "Daemonicus is the beginning and the end of the case. A snake eating its own tale." Apparently, Ma and Pa Doomed's initials were DAE. Dr Sampson's first name was Monica: MONI. The guard -- whose body, not Kobalt's, was eventually removed from the lake -- was named Custer. CUS. "Checkmate," Doggett says. Okay. What? Seriously. What? Moronica looks peeved. I don't even know why. Because I have no idea what's happening in this episode. At all. Moronica and Scully stare at Doggett, who leaves the classroom. After a moment, Scully asks Moronica if "something is bothering [her]." Moronica tells Scully that "it makes sense, as far as it goes." Really? Please call me, and explain it to me, then. "But there's something else," Moronica says. "Something he's afraid to explain." Scully wonders if Moronica means the "presence of evil" that she felt. "No. I mean that he felt it, too," Moronica says. They both stare at the wall. More Evil Whispering. Time-Lapse Cloud Photography. Oh, whatever. I give up. I just give up.

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X-Files

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