X-Files

Episode Report Card
Jessica: A- | 330 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Our Long National Nightmare is Over!

The body was too far gone three months ago! Billy Miles is alive and he was underwater for ages! It's impossible! I have to see! As Skinner and Doggett argue, a big digging machine tears into the ground. If you're going to dig up a body, the big digging machine is really the way to go, in my opinion. Like, when Sheridan was buried alive on Passions after she faked her own death because French assassins were after her, she didn't get dug up for three weeks because the guy who was supposed to dig her up got kidnapped. So, she ended up having to be rescued by Sam and Luis and Ethan and once they all finally got to the graveyard, they dug her up by hand, which I thought was incredibly stupid because Sam is the chief of police, and you'd think he'd have time to call someone and have them send a digger thing to meet them at the cemetery so that by the time Ethan and Sam and Luis and Hank (the guy who got kidnapped) got back from the docks (because they were on a boat fighting off the kidnappers), the digger thing could already have started the exhumation. Anyway, the point is that Skinner is smarter than Sam Bennett, which isn't surprising since Sam is, like, two tacos short of a combination plate, which is not a particularly good trait in the chief of police. Of course, Sam's stupidity gets him in trouble all the time. For example, recently, his wife Grace fell down a huge flight of stairs and had a miscarriage after she overheard that he's secretly Ethan Crane's father, and now she hates his guts and he's just acting dumber than a bag of hammers about it. But anyway, Sheridan was alive once they finally got the coffin open, and they didn't have to take her to the morgue, which is where Mulder and his coffin end up. The morgue is packed -- a fact that the head coroner guy explains by telling Skinner that word of a dead-of-night exhumation spreads real quick-like. Skinner grits that he wants the crowd out of there tout de suite. Doggett herds the masses out of the morgue. The Older Coroner snits that this entire scenario is insane, and he's only there as a favor. He's sure Mulder is dead. "I say it again: insanity," Doggett whispers in Skinner's ear. Skinner purses his lips. They open the coffin. Mulder looks pretty much the same -- gray, and crappy -- but there aren't, like, shreds of skin hanging off of his skull or anything. Skinner stares at him. I wonder why there wasn't an autopsy performed before they stuck him in the ground and why the morticians didn't load him up with formaldehyde and whatnot, but let's just go with the flow here, shall we? We shall.

X-Files

Comments

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP