X-Files

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Our Long National Nightmare is Over!

Previously on The X-Files, alien space ships started dropping abductees in deserted fields and leaving them for dead. Everyone's favorite doomsday cult leader, Absalom, and everyone's favorite faith healer, Jeremiah Smith, plucked them off the ground and healed them up real good. They tried to help Mulder, but the stupid FBI crashed in and interrupted them. Now Mulder's dead (or is he?) and Scully is oh, so very sad.

Raleigh, North Carolina. Snow covers the ground. There's a military funeral in progress. Several people -- none of whom is wearing a hat, even though they must be freezing -- surround a coffin draped with the American flag. What time of year is it, anyway? I know I said I was going to give up trying to figure out this time line thing, but I just can't seem to let it go. We know it's after January 28, since Survivor 2 was mentioned way back in the Crazy Subway Tunnel Contagion episode. So, at the very, very, very least, it's mid-February. And Scully told Skinner she was pregnant in early May. Which puts her pregnancy right at nine months. She ought to be dropping the sprog right this instant, and she's not even showing. But, you know what? I'm over that. I'm over it. It's in the best interest of my health and well-being to drop this muddle-headed obsession with linear space and time. So it's over. This is the last time you will hear me complain about the totally screwed-up timeline on this show. Girl Scout's honor. I wonder if there's a badge in this for me. And if so, does it feature a little green alien head? Sorry. Anyway. The minister is doing the whole "ashes to ashes" thing as Scully stands between her mother and Skinner, solemnly looking at the ground. Mulder's gotten a good turnout; in addition to Scully, Mrs. Scully and Skinner, Kersh, Doggett and the Lone Gunmen have come out to pay their respects. "Let us pray now, for [Mulder's] eternal peace," the minister says. Scully purses her lips and tries very hard not to cry. She lets out a long, shuddering breath. Oh, poor Scully. This whole career-with-the-FBI thing has just turned out for shit. I hope she at least knows a good therapist, because after the sister dying/ abduction/ cancer/ abduction/ disappearance of partner/ pregnant with alien baby/ death of partner story arc, she's going to need someone impartial to talk to. Maybe FOX and HBO can broker a Competition Crossover Event and she can have a few sessions with Dr. Melfi, who at least knows what it's like to deal with someone in an unusual line of work.

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X-Files

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