X-Files

Episode Report Card
Jessica: B- | 370 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
I'm Monica! I'm Disgusting!

ICU. Katha's all stroking evil brother Jeb's hair. Monica watches in the background. Suddenly, Jeb flatlines. A doctor comes in, gives him one puny amp of epi, and calls time of death. That's it. Dude, this is the worst hospital in the whole world! Whatever happened to CPR? Paddles? Internal chest massage? Why doesn't anyone watch ER anymore? The doctor apologizes to Katha -- for Jeb's dying, not for being such a crappy doctor. Katha stumbles all tearfully over to her brother and sobs and sobs. Monica pats her "You killed him," Katha spits. See, everyone hates Monica. Monica starts to leave the room. Suddenly, Katha stiffens. Flames flicker evilly in her eyes. I guess she caught the Evil Virus. She reaches over, grabs a fire extinguisher, and smashes Monica over the head with it! Monica falls to the ground with a thud! I watch this series of events over and over again. Rewind rules! Katha grabs Monica's gun away from her and is about to shoot her, but Doggett enters the room just in the nick of time, wrestles Katha away from Monica, and gets the weapon out of her hands. Monica, unfortunately, is not dead. "It's over now," Doggett tells her. "It's never over," Monica moans. Dude, whatever.

Scully's apartment. Mulder has brought her a huge pizza. She's not hungry, she says. "You can eat it latah!" Mulder crows. Scully pouts. "You miss your regular pizza man, don't you?" he asks, grinning. "Yes," Scully admits. "But it's okay, he's coming by later." They smile moonily at one another, chuckling. Scully rips into her present, while Mulder stares at her adoringly. The gift is an antique doll, which, coming from the Mulder family, is probably cursed. Nevertheless, Scully is thrilled. "That's the other gift that you gave me, Mulder," Scully says. "Other than his sperm?" North America screams at the television. They stare at each other. "Courage," she says, "to believe." Oh, that. Whatever. She hopes she can pass that on. To the baby. Her baby. Their baby. Oh, who the hell knows anymore?

At the hospital. Doggett stares at Katha. She's blankly looking at the ceiling of her hospital room. He makes the last haunted face of the episode.

Next week: black oil attacks!

X-Files

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