X-Files

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I'm Monica! I'm Disgusting!

FBI HQ. Where's the Skinman? I guess they couldn't afford to pay him and Duchovny and Annabeth Gish. Maybe he's at home, taping full-size color copies of Doggett's badge photo to the wall above his bed. Anyway, Monica's in what I guess is some kind of records room at the FBI, looking through Doggett's personal file. Enter Mulder. Handshakes all around. "You're taller than I thought," she says. Mulder's like, dude, have we met, or are you just nuts? Monica purses her lips. "I was there when they found you in the woods. You were..." Mulder makes his "dead?" face. "Yeah, I'm not surprised you don't remember," Monica finishes lamely. Mulder tells her to cut to the chase. Monica explains that the case she's investigating involves Doggett, and the death of his young son. "Are you familiar with the case?" she asks. Mulder wrinkles his nose. "No, I'm not at all familiar with Agent Doggett," he says. He flips through the file, glancing at a photo of Doggett's dead son, Luke. Monica explains that she was the head investigator once the FBI got called in on the case, and that Doggett was with the NYPD at the time. They never found the killer, she says. "Blah, blah, dead kid, blah blah. I know where this is going," Mulder thinks. Monica finishes her story by explaining that the Luke Doggett case was the hardest one she's ever worked, "stealing into the bathroom to cry [her] eyes out kind of hard." Lip purse. Monica is to the lip purse as Scully is to the eyebrow. Stare. Stare. Stare. Stare. Monica doesn't want to put Doggett through any additional psychological pain, but she really wants to catch DeadLuke's killer. She needs to know whether what she saw meant anything! Mulder is like, get on with it! I don't know why Monica speaks so slowly, but it makes me want to rip out my eyelashes one by one and feed them to the feral cats in the alley on my grandmother's china. Mulder is just looking around, silently willing her to get to the point. Monica explains that, when they found Luke, she had a vision: the body changed into a pile of ashes. Doggett initially said that he saw it too, but he's spent the last few years in serious denial. If she doesn't get to end of this soon, I'm going to spend the next few years in a coma. Anyway, Monica thinks the whole ashes-to-ashes thing is some kind of clue, and now she's seen it again, a thousand miles away, in connection with a seemingly unrelated case. There's got to be a reason for that! Mulder is all, whatever. Gotta get back to my secret girlfriend and unborn alien baby.

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X-Files

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