X-Files

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I'm Monica! I'm Disgusting!

Middle of nowhere. Side of the road. Jeb strolls out of the woods, looking bloody and holding a gun. He stares at his reflection in the back window of a van. The van's being held up by a jack; a flat tire lies by the side of the road. He's surrounded by flames in his reflection, which reminds me of the current plot on Passions, in which Charity and Miguel and Kay are trapped for what is allegedly all eternity in the fires of hell, which is located, it seems, inside Charity's bedroom closet. I'm pretty sure that at least two of the three of them are going to make it out alive, though. I think that Kay could possibly have to sacrifice herself to save the others, but, on the other hand, she doesn't have a soul because she traded it to the witch, Hecuba, to get rid of Charity so she could have Miguel all to herself, and she might actually be able to settle comfortably in Hades. Anyway, the CGI flames here remind me of that, because, as on Passions, they're pretty cheap-ass. Jeb stumbles to the driver's seat of the car, throws a purse onto the ground and drives off in flurry of murderous dust.

Spartanburg, SC, 11:02 AM. Woods. Police combing. Doggett pulls up in his Sensible Car. Oh, Mulder's at the crime scene, too, in his blue shirt, with the sleeves all rolled up. My action figure is wearing a blue shirt, too. We love the blue shirt! Doggett: What am I doing here? Mulder: I'm asking myself the same question, and I mean that to be as much of a meta statement as you all suspect. Shouldn't he be at the hospital? Oh, whatever. Mulder exposits that Monica has a body in the woods, and that she thinks Jeb is behind it all. He sighs that Monica wants to know whether Doggett "sees it, too." Doggett swears he won't see anyone or anything. Mulder just stares at him. Does anyone care about this? Let's get back to the Scully Medical Mystery, people! Doggett gets the whole Vision of Monica Turning Around to the Tune of the Dying Seagulls yet again. He stomps up into the woods to look at the current body, which is laid out just like poor DeadLuke's was. The seagulls wail. Both action figures have fallen asleep on my lap. "Wake me up when something interesting happens," the Scully whispered to me before drifting into unconsciousness. Doggett swears that he doesn't see anything, but Monica just doesn't buy it. I'm screaming inside. Please, let this boring plot end, so I can get back to Mulder/Scully Hospital Scenes of Lurve! Mulder watches as Monica and Doggett stare at each other. "You're just afraid to go there," Monica tells him. "You just shoot until you hit something, don't you?" Mulder snarks. Monica ignores him. She tells Doggett that she can't ignore the connections! Doggett refuses to believe that there are connections to anything! Monica spins some boring and stupid theory about evil being spread through other people or something (I'm reading a magazine and waiting for some actual action and not paying a whole lot of attention), and how it's all connected to Doggett somehow, or something, and how all over the world, people "see evil in death the way people see God in a rose." Mulder grins. "I saw Elvis in a potato chip, once," he comments. I love you, Mulder. Monica says that she knows that he knows what she's talking about. "Yes, I do. I do," Mulder comments. But, he points out, if Doggett doesn't, that's just life. He walks over to his car. More staring between Monica and Doggett.

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X-Files

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