X-Files

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Jessica: B+ | Grade It Now!
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Baby, It's You

FBI Evidence Lab. Agent "Never Seen Him Before" Crane sifts through charred evidence from the Zeus Genetics blaze. He's irritated that Doggett called him into the office on this crazy wild goose chase: he was at his kids' baseball game, for Pete's sake! Because he's as American as apple pie! He's all that's good and true in this world! He's like fireworks and hot dogs and chocolate cake and fried chicken (I'm hungry) all rolled into one! And he's still bitching when Mulder strolls in. Crane snips that Mulder must have put Doggett up to weekend duty. "You don't have to answer to him, you know," he prisses. "He's out of the Bureau now." Doggett's all, whatever. Is Crane Doggett's new partner? Did I sleep through an episode where we established that? Anyway, Doggett strolls over to Mulder, who tells him that Dr. Lev is missing. And he probably got all burned up. Doggett wonders what, exactly, they're looking for in all this burned-up stuff. Mulder: blah X-Files blah. Doggett grouses that Mulder is wasting Doggett's wild weekend of gun-cleaning and race-watching. "And Skinner was coming over later. To...uhhh...help me...with...my gun." Mulder doesn't hear this slip (because I made it up), and asks Doggett whether he knew that the co-founder of Zeus Genetics was Dr. Parenti, Scully's erstwhile obstetrician. Doggett's all, dude! Mulder's all, I think we ought to pay the illustrious doctor a visit.

Parenti Medical. 11:47AM. The office is deserted, which makes sense on a Saturday morning. Mulder jimmies the lock and he and Doggett creep inside. Doggett: we better not get caught. Mulder: we're not doing anything wrong. Jessica: other than breaking and entering. They split up to suss out the sitch. Man, these are two good-looking, tight-jeans-clad men. A show, featuring these two, in these jeans, crawling around, doing stuff? I would watch that show. Doggett slowly opens the door to Parenti's very own Dead Alien Babies in Jars room. "Hey, Mooooulder?" he calls. Mulder, in another room, starts to head for Doggett, but he's interrupted when Parenti himself opens a door almost right into him. In the room behind the good doctor, a young woman sits up in the stirrups and covers herself. "What are you doing here?" Mulder asks. "What are you doing here? I'm in the middle of very delicate medical procedure!" Parenti snits. Mid-snit, Doggett sticks his head of the Dead Alien Babies in Jars room. "This delicate medical procedure? Did it have anything to do with this?" he asks, gesturing over his shoulder.

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X-Files

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