Driving, driving, driving. Teena takes Cindy's hand. Or vice versa. Whatever. Why do I always get stuck with shows where people get trapped in someone else's body, or there are twins, or there are two of one person, or something, and it's always really hard to explain what, exactly, is happening? I can see the appeal, as a writer, though, of the two people/one body thing. Or even the one person/one person wearing a plastic mask and impersonating the other person thing, like this week on Passions, when Julian Crane dreamed up a plan to break up Luis and Sheridan so he wouldn't have to murder Sheridan, and the crux of the plan was that he hired this guy to wear a remarkably life-like Luis mask and sleep with another woman and then also slap her around, all in front of Sheridan, so Sheridan would break up with him, but of course Sheridan and Luis foiled the plan and now Julian has to kill his sister, and Julian is certainly a big old drama queen ["and just a queen, full stop" -- Wing Chun], and kind of a jerk, but he's not evil enough to kill his own sister, although I have to admit it was brilliant a few months ago when he was planning to kill her and he was walking around town holding a book called, like, How to Murder Your Sister Without Anyone Finding Out It Was You and saying things like, "I can't believe I have to kill my own sister," out loud, in public places. I love Passions. And not just because I got a total shout-out last week. Although the shout-out was awesome! I squealed and dropped my magazine. Anyway. One of the evil, evil twins tells Mulder that she has to pee. "Can you hold it?" he asks. "I really have to go," she whines. This is exactly like my drive up to Northern California last week with my parents and my sister in the car. Except for the part where my sister and I aren't evil. Also, not twins. And my parents aren't in the FBI, which is really too bad. Scully looks over at her partner and admits that she could use some caffeine. They pull over at a roadside diner. The Piano of the Evil Twins Who Need to Pee tinkles in the background.
Inside the diner, Mulder orders four diet sodas. "Regular!" the twins chirp in unison. Mulder and Scully exchange smiles, like, "Those adorable moppets!" Mulder grins at the girl behind the counter. "Okay, two diet, two regular, to go," he clarifies.
Scully takes the girls to the bathroom. Mulder goes into the men's room to fix his hair. While he's fussing with his coif, one of the twins sneaks out of the ladies' room, and the other distracts Scully, whining that her stall door is stuck.