X-Files

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Kids Today! I Blame the Rap Music.

Fairfield County Social Services Hostel; Greenwich, Connecticut. Mulder and Scully pay a visit to little orphan Teena. The curly-haired Social Services lady takes them through the halls toward Teena's room, telling the agents that Teena's mother died two years ago, of ovarian cancer. Teena hasn't talked about her father's death, Curly says, and she hasn't had any nightmares, as far as they know. Social Services is going to place Teena in a foster home, Curly says, as soon as they can find her one. Mulder and Scully make the Sympathetic Faces of People Who Are Sensitive to the Plight of the Orphan Child as they peer in the porthole-like window in the door of Teena's room. The child perches on the edge of her bed, snuggling with her bunny.

Curly opens the door, introducing the agents as "Miss Scully and Mr. Mulder." My Scully action figure grumbles something unintelligible from the bookshelf. She hates it when people forget that it's not "Miss Scully," it's "Dr. Scully." "Or even Ms. Scully," she sniffs. I have no idea where the action figures even are half the time these days. I think they're having some kind of long, hot, plastic summer whirlwind romance. Sometimes, when I get up in the morning, the Mulder action figure isn't wearing any pants. It's strange and disturbing. Anyway, Teena wanly agrees to talk to the authorities, again, about the entire Dead Dad Débacle. Scully sits down on the edge of Teena's bed. Scully is wearing a purple trenchcoat and a navy-blue suit. Why, God? ["Purple? Oh, dude." -- Wing Chun] Scully puts on her Sympathetic Mommy voice, telling Teena that she and Agent Mulder are determined to stop whoever hurt Teena's father, but they need to ask her some questions first. Did she ever see any strangers hanging around the house? No. Anyone yelling at her dad? Anyone her dad yelled at? Anyone who might want to hurt him? No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Mulder compliments Teena on her bunny, but his I'm-Nice-to- Little-Girls-and- Children-in-General- Both-Because-I'm- a-Decent-Man- But-Also-Because- My-Own-Sister- Got-Abducted-at- About-Your-Age- and-I-Have- Serious-Issues act doesn't seem to impress her much. Mulder asks Teena whether she saw any strange lights or heard any weird noises in the back yard on the day her father was killed. "There was red lightning," Teena offers. Scully purses her lips. Mulder barely contains his look of glee, and asks the girl to elaborate. Teena can't remember what happened after the lightning; everything just went dark, she says. But it wasn't the first time she'd seen the red lightning. Mulder's hair is weirdly parted in this scene. It looks like he's trying to do some kind of Dead Poets Society floppy 'do with the part in the middle, but his hair is too thick, so it just looks messy and bizarre. Then Teena starts talking about the "men from the clouds," and Mulder just about gets up and does the dance of joy. "They wanted my dad," Teena elaborates. Mulder's head practically explodes off the top of his head. Scully just stares. Her cell phone rings, and she takes the call in the corner of the room. Mulder asks, once he regains the power of speech, why the men were after her father. "They wanted to exsanguinate him," Teena says. Mulder's mouth falls open. Scully hustles over and pulls Mulder into the corner of the room, where she tells him that there's been another murder.

X-Files

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