X-Files

Episode Report Card
Jessica: A- | 553 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
The Kiss

From their perch over at the bookshelf, my Mulder and Scully action figures look at each other and then at me. They sort of nod at each other and crawl off the shelf and onto the floor and make their way across the room and crawl up my legs and haul themselves onto my knee. It takes twenty-five minutes. "Krycek is dead?" the Mulder asks shakily. "As far as I know," I reply. "I didn't expect that to happen," the Scully says. "Life is so short," the Mulder sighs, his tiny puff of breath ruffling my arm hairs. He and the Scully exchange looks. "Can we watch the rest of the episode here?" she asks, patting my knee. And that's the story of how the action figures and I patched things up and I didn't have to sell them on eBay. Sometimes it takes the blood of a sweaty, sexy, mostly-evil operative to wash away the petty sins of a pair of action figures and a possibly delusional recapper.

"No Room at the" Inn. Scully's in full labor mode: sweaty, panting, cranky. Law Lady yadas something about how close Scully's contractions are, and how it's not going to be long now. As she leans in to check Scully's...you know, stuff (if this was ER, I'd say she was checking her dilation, but I'm sure Law Lady doesn't know from that sort of thing), Moronica notices that Law Lady's sporting the same bumps on the back of her neck that Billy Miles had. The "I'm an Alien" bumps. Moronica manages not to scream in terror and run out of the room.

FBI HQ. Doggett comes out of Skinner's office alone. I guess this entire section occurs simultaneously with Skinner shooting Krycek down in the garage; the timeline on this episode is a little confusing to me. Down the hall, the elevator door dings open, revealing Noel and Crane. Doggett draws his weapon and yells at them to stop -- that he's prepared to use force. They just keep coming. He turns tail and runs. Noel follows him into the stairwell, while Crane hops back into the elevator.

Doggett scampers down the stairs and into the hallway of the floor below. He runs smack into Skinner, and, basically embracing him, grabs him and pulls him down the hall. "Come on, come on," he shouts. They run.

Baby Barn. Moronica, looking thoughtful, pours Scully a nice glass of boiling hot water, and gives to Law Lady, who hands it off to the mother-to-be, who guzzles it. Law Lady takes her empty glass and turns to Moronica, who throws her entire bucket of hot water on Law Lady's face and then prods her outside with her shotgun. Scully, in labor, is perturbed.

X-Files

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