The One Where We Recap The Movie
This is the part where, if this was an episode of the television show, the credits would roll and I would complain about how much they suck. I love that part!
Cut to downtown Los Angeles...er, "Dallas." One week later. The helicopter budget for this movie must have been astronomical, because yet another chopper whooshes around the Dallas Federal Building, finally landing on the helipad. A bald guy in an FBI windbreaker hops out of the chopper, and is met by a bunch of other guys in FBI windbreakers. I want one of those FBI windbreakers. Baldy talks to a Fed who looks vaguely like Noel Rrrrrrroroooooooaarrr, who tells him that they've evacuated the entire building, and searched it top to bottom, but they haven't found a trace of a bomb. Michaud -- for that is Baldy's name -- tells Noel NotRrrrrrrroooooooorrrrar to send the dogs through again. He walks to the edge of the roof and gazes off at the building across the street. Someone is wandering around that rooftop, as well.
That person is a very hot-looking Scully -- heat hot, although, of course, Gillian Anderson is beautiful. And this is the part where 1013 gives the people in the audience who've never watched The X-Files and just got dragged to the movie by their girlfriend or father or roommate the Cliffs Notes version of the Mulder/Scully relationship. Scully tip-taps down a staircase onto the roof of the building, cell phone in hand. "Mulder, it's me," she says. (The audience in the theatre I saw this in cheered at this line. Remember when we weren't all bitter?