X-Files

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The One Where We Recap The Movie
Morgue. Scully is mid-autopsy. The fireman's body is full of all kinds of weird glass-like stuff. It's funny, I can totally eat while watching this show (and its related spin-offs, in this case) now, while I never used to be able to. I used to be all, "Yuck! Guts! I can't eat this apple!" Now, I'm all, "Hmmm, putrefying innards. Hey, pass the chicken vindaloo, would you?" Anyway, just as Scully is wrestling a big old shard of fiberglass out of the fireman's gut, several people come walking down the hall near the lab. Scully looks up, stricken. The Young Solider and two security guards enter the now-empty autopsy room, frantically looking around for Scully The Intruder. Scully has locked herself in another room just off the autopsy room, where the bodies are stored. Cold storage, I'll bet. She's waiting on pins and needles for security to get the hell out of there when her cell phone rings. Scully grabs it out of her waistband and, instead of turning it off like a normal person would, answers it right away. Naturally, it's Mulder. "Why are you whispering?" he asks. He's calling her from a pay phone, and I don't know why. What happened to his cell phone? Whatever. "Mulder, I can't really talk right now," she hisses, and then she chats with him for, like five minutes, like, shut it, Scully, because those guys out there are going to find you, Blabby McTalksalot. She tells him that she's found evidence, in the fireman's corpse, of a massive infection of mysterious origin. Mulder responds by telling her that they're going to Dallas in the morning. Scully argues that she can't: she's got a hearing with OPR the very next day. Mulder promises that he can get her back to Washington in plenty of time for the hearing, and maybe with evidence "to blow it away." Scully repeats that she just can't go. Mulder starts explaining why he needs to her to tag along, but Scully hears footsteps, close, and hangs up on him, leaving Mulder talking to himself on a pay phone like a fool. The Young Soldier enters Cold Storage, but doesn't see Scully, who's flung herself onto the floor under the one of the gurneys. Something gross drips near her head. FBI Field Office, Dallas, Texas. 11:21 AM. A Nameless Agent tells Mulder that he's basically looking for a needle in a haystack; everything is still sort of all mixed up. Mulder simply tells him that he'd like to see anything they may have recovered that's out of the ordinary. Something, say, from the FEMA offices? He's all alone: Scully must have stayed home to prettify for her big meeting. Nameless Agent tells Mulder that the only unusual thing they've turned up, which hasn't already been sent off to Washington, is some mysterious bone fragments that "turned up in the sift this morning." Which, allegedly, FEMA had recovered from an archeological dig a few miles out of town. The agents at the field office haven't examined the fragments yet. Mulder's listening to the Nameless Agent talk when Scully enters the room, looking for him. Mulder points at her. "I'd like you to let this person take a look at them, if you don't mind," he says. She just looks at him balefully, like, nice to see you, too, buddy. Scully and Mulder are, I notice, are wearing the outfits my action figures are wearing. Were wearing. Gross. Whatever. Anyway, the agent agrees and trots off to fetch the bone fragments. Scully quietly tells her partner that she wasn't planning on coming to Dallas, but after she got a look at the weird-o blood and tissue samples from the dead fireman, she had to come; the fireman's infection had a protein code she's never seen before. "What it did to those men, it did extremely fast," she hisses under her breath. She's worried that this crazy and mysterious infection poses a very serious health threat to the world at large. Nameless Agent trots up with the bone fragments, which Scully examines under a microscope. After a moment, she looks up at Mulder, shocked. Mulder asks Nameless Agent to show them on a map where the bone fragments were found.

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X-Files

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