Episode Report CardJessica: B- | Grade It Now!
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Mulder and Scully file out of the elevator downstairs, still bantering about her little practical joke. A bunch of schoolchildren crowd past them into the elevator. Three or four of them are almost as tall as Gillian Anderson is. Scully teases Mulder, telling him that she saw a definite look of panic on his face when he thought they were locked on the roof. "When I panic, I make this face," Mulder says, looking deadpan. Scully says she saw that face. Mulder says she didn't. Scully grins and sends him to buy her a soda. Unlike the sunflower seeds, non-watchers, that has nothing to do with the show: everyone likes soda. And cheese. But there are no cheese vending machines. That makes me sad. Mulder saunters past a handyman and into the vending room. When I was in college, my friends and I had this stupid joke wherein, whenever one of us got something from the snack machine, someone had to say "he's getting veeeeeending," kind of like Rob Schneider in his Copy Man role, and when we saw this in the movie theatre, my friend Phung whispered that into my ear and I laughed and laughed although, technically, that's not at all funny and I don't even know why I just shared. I suspect it's because I've lost all interior monologue and now I just say whatever comes to mind. Anyway. So Mulder plugs some change into the machine and makes his selection. No go. He peeks between the soda machine and the snack machine and sees that the soda machine is unplugged, which makes the fact that the lights in the machine are turned on totally impossible, but whatever. Yada, yada, the bomb is in the soda machine. Mulder tries the door, but this time it's really locked. He's trapped. In the room. With the bomb. Twenty minutes into the movie. (Three years ago.) What will happen? Oy, the suspense. Mulder whips out his product-placed Nokia and calls Scully, telling her that he found the bomb. She thinks he's joking. He convinces her that he is not. Banter. Eventually, Scully manages to get her ass over to the vending room and finds the door soldered shut. She stares at the doorknob. Inside the room, Mulder stares at the bomb. "Hold on, Mulder, I'm going to get you out of there," Scully says. Scully comes bursting out of the hallway and into the building's foyer, yelling at the concierge that she needs the building evacuated in ten minutes, roads closed, and so on and so forth. "Ten minutes?" one of the concierge guys asks, slack-jawed. "Don't think, just do it," Scully barks. They jump to, immediately. Scully strides toward the front doors, getting on her cell phone to Special Agent Michaud. "You've got the wrong building," she tells him.