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Jessica: A | Grade It Now!

Scully obeys, heading down the hallway to chat with Mrs. P. "Scully, watch your step," Mulder calls after her. "This place is rigged." She nods. In front of her, a wire is strung across the hallway. It's attached to what looks like a spear. Scully turns into the bedroom, right in front of it. Phew! Crisis averted! For the time being.

"Mrs. Peacock?" Scully asks, leaning down and peering under the bed. I don't understand why the Peacocks keep her under the bed. She's, like, the boss, right? She's the mother/wife. She's...whatever. She's in charge. If I were the mother/wife of a bunch of inbred yokels, I would make them tend to me right out in plain air! None of that under-the-bed crap for me! Or any of the chewing and regurgitating! I'd want them to make me a healthy smoothie, every day. Or ice cream. What the hell is wrong with these people? Scully tells Mrs. Peacock that they'd like to help her. They can get her medical attention, Scully says. "This is our home! Why leave it?" Mrs. Peacock hisses past her nasty gums. She explains that she is impervious to pain. "It runs in the family," she explains, telling Scully that her right arm was torn off in the accident that killed her husband. "Saw it sitting in my dead husband's lap. Boys took me home, sewed me up just like the family learnt in the War of Northern Aggression." ["But they're in Pennsylvania! Why would she call it that?" -- Wing Chun] Wow, I just noticed that she has three nostrils. Neat. Also, if she feels no pain, why was she screaming when she was having the baby? Because it's so undignified? The woman lives on a piece of wood under the bed and her house is a disaster. "Whole time, felt the same as if making breakfast," she finishes. Scully briefly closes her eyes. "They're such good boys," Mrs. Peacock coos. Scully reminds her that her "good boys" killed three people. Mrs. Peacock rolls her eyes. "I can tell you don't have no children," she says. "Maybe one day you'll learn the pride. The loooooove." Heh. You have no idea, Mrs. Peacock. Scully sits back on her haunches and looks horrified. "When you know your boy will do anything for his mother," Mrs. Peacock finishes. And she does mean anything.

Man, the instant summer rolls around, my note-taking skills take a dive. Here, I have written that the Brothers Peacock have found Mulder's eyes in the front yard. And that can't be right. Because they're still in his head. At any rate, the Peacocks know that Mulder and Scully are in the house and they're on their way in to kick some ass. "Scully!" Mulder calls, racing to block the front door. Shortly thereafter, the brothers start pounding on the door. "Federal Agent, I'm armed!" he yells. Still breaking down the door. "Stop, or I'll fire," Mulder shouts, firing a warning shot into the air. One of the brothers has come in the back way and stands directly behind Mulder, holding a chair over Mulder's head. Scully comes running out just in time to see this drama unfold. "Mulder!" she screams, and shoots Peacock With Chair. Mulder turns, just in time to get tackled by ANOTHER brother, as the last one finally bursts down the door. Chaos! Fighting freaks! Shooting! Scully plugs them all a couple of times, but it doesn't seem to have any affect. One of them is choking Mulder, who manages to fend him off by smashing a milk bottle over his head. I feel for that poor milkman. Also, if they have a cow, why do they need a milkman? Ah, maybe they've just bought the bottles. From, like, a dairy-supply wholesaler, or.... What is wrong with me? Mulder's breaking bottles over people's heads and I'm worried about glassware! Fighting. Fighting. "I've got the mother," Scully yells, to distract the men. Mulder finally manages to shoot one point blank. The other one chases Scully down the hallway. Mid-chase, she ducks down and he trips right over her, setting off his own jerry-rigged spear thing right into himself. That has got to hurt. Scully picks herself up off the ground. Mulder stumbles in. They're both okay. "Where's the other brother?" Mulder asks. "Edmund?" Scully asks. She looks down at the ground. "Mulder, look: marks on the floor," she says. It appears Mrs. Peacock has taken her little pallet and just rolled herself on out of there. Mulder rolls his eyes.

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