X-Files

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Improbable

Thanks, first of all, to the lovely and talented Heathen, for covering the recaplet for me this week while I was at a wedding. Second: why is Chandler on Ally McBeal, and why is he so tan?

Instead of jumping right into this week's episode, I need to discuss the teaser. It's Gillian Anderson and Annabeth Gish and Robert Patrick, all doing that Stand Around and Look Serious With Your Arms Crossed thing, but in the middle of SAaLSWYACing, Gillian Anderson falls over. Everyone laughs. I think this might actually have been a legitimate blooper, from their reactions, since I haven't seen any of them look that realistically surprised all season.

We open in Vegas (baby, Vegas), on a close shot of a hand dealing cards. Wacky cha cha music wiggles its hips in the background. I love Vegas. It's so delightfully tacky. The last time I was there, I was browsing in a gift shop and found a snow globe which featured -- instead of the usual fairies or angels or replicas of New York, New York -- Christ on the cross. In a snow globe. Vegas, man. It's horrible in the best possible way. We move to a split screen revealing a series of pathetic-looking saps waiting for their next hand in what looks like Pai Gow poker. Last time I was in Vegas, actually, fellow recapper Heathen almost got us thrown out of the Sahara in a highly dramatic Pai Gow poker incident. See, apparently there's a very specific way you need to present your hand to the dealer and Heathen accidentally did it backwards (we were just learning how to play, and it's quite complicated), and I swear to God, the dealer acted like Heathen pulled the severed head of Danny Gans (Vegas's Entertainer of the Year!) out of her pocket and threw it on the table and then disappeared in a burst of flames. They called the pit boss over and everything. In the end, of course, everything was smoothed over and neither Heathen nor I ended up in a Las Vegasean jail or on an episode of C.S.I. Good times, people. Unfortunately, nothing of that sort happens here in the episode, although this one Scary Dude does give his hand the evil eye, toss it angrily down on the table, and stomp off in a huff. The French Cha Cha music continues to cha cha cha merrily in the background. SD ambles over to the slots, eyeing a desperate-looking blonde. She doesn't look at him directly, but stiffens when he invades her personal space. He watches her pull the lever on the slot machine, with no success.

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X-Files

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