X-Files

Episode Report Card
Jessica: B | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Improbable

So, Scully and Moronica sit down to play themselves some checkers and listen to more cha cha cha. Burt handily beats Scully. "How did we get ourselves into this?" Scully hisses to Moronica out of the side of her mouth before Moronica sits down to have her own ass kicked. In the middle of Moronica and Burt's very one-sided match, Scully attempts to shoot out the door. No such luck. She stamps her feet in a humorous little tantrum.

Still stuck in the garage, Scully and Moronica play checkers and look bored. Burt blasts the Spanish cha cha and actually sings aloud at the "cha cha cha" parts. Then he comes right over in front of the camera, sticks his butt into the frame, and wiggles it around, and I'm sorry, but that was really funny. Scully waits for Moronica to make her next move, but Moronica instead stands up suddenly and turns the board around so that Scully is the red side, and Moronica the black. "Your hair color," Moronica breathes. "I don't believe it," Scully says. Burt is all, what? Moronica explains that she thinks that she and Scully might just be the next victims. The last -- and seventh -- victim was a blonde. The killer, she says, kills in threes. "Blonde, redhead, brunette." Burt looks impressed. "Amazing! From a game of checkers!" he chirps. Scully and Moronica look at each other, and Scully draws her gun. Burt throws up his hands. "Who are you?" she asks. "Obviously, someone you are very lucky to have run into," Burt says. Scully rolls her eyes and comments that Burt must be "a part of this." Moronica shakes her head. "No, the numbers lead us to the killer, the killer leads us to the garage, and now, all we've done is realize the killer's serial pattern." Burt begins to drop his hands. "So, you're saying I didn't have anything to do with it," he says. Scully sputters at him to keep his hands up. "Why?" he asks. "I...I don't know," she exclaims. Gillian Anderson's delivery there was hilarious. It's nice to see her having fun for once.

Burt offers again to help, saying that he's "very good with numbers." Moronica and Scully look at each other. "She thinks his acts are determined by a calculation of numbers," Scully says briefly. "Are the numbers helping you catch him, or are they helping him not to get caught?" Burt asks. The girls shrug. "It's a kind of a game," Burt says. Moronica admits that maybe it kind of is. Scully looks frustrated, and spits that they can't reduce this kind of thing to a game. But Moronica points out that science itself is a game of numbers, really. "Wow!" Burt interjects. "Everything is by the numbers," Moronica continues. "Genes, chromosomes, us, the universe." "Go, girl!" Burt says. Hee! Scully shakes her head, and dubs this "nonsense." Moronica raises a brow. "That would mean that all we are are checkers on a checkerboard, being moved around by forces completely outside and unbeknownst to us," Scully argues. "What did Einstein say?" Moronica asks. "Einstein, now there's a winner!" Burt says. "'God does not play dice with the universe,'" Moronica recites. Oh, dear. I have the horrible feeling that this might all have something to do with everything on this show, if you know what I mean. And I have a even worse feeling that maybe it ought to, and it won't. "Nor does he play checkers," Scully retorts acidly. Not everything can be made into a game of win or loss, she continues, not art or architecture or music. "Why not?" Moronica asks. "Maybe the winners are those who play the game better. Those who see the connections, like we're doing right now." Scully looks, as she often does, skeptical. "Maybe we're not the next victims," Moronica says, positing that maybe they're in the parking garage in order to catch the killer. Scully points out that the killer is outside and they're locked inside. "But what if he's not," Moronica intones dramatically. They draw their guns. Again. Burt smiles cheerfully. "What are you looking at?" Scully asks him, just as all the lights go out. "Same thing you are," he responds.

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