X-Files

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Improbable

Cha cha cha over to the bar, where Burt Reynolds orders "a seven and Seven, pack of Morleys." SD stomps over and orders the same. The bartender smiles at Burt, who genially announces that they "have a winner!" SD glares. "Do I know you?" he asks. "Do you know me?" Burt responds. "Come on, Wayno [his name is Wayno?], I'm part of the regular game. You know your problem, my friend? It's not the cards. It's playing the hand you were dealt. Plenty of guys get a bad deal. It's all in what you do with it. Know what I'm saying, partner?" Wayno just glares. "You can think. Cards can't," Burt continues. "You have to make them work for you." Suddenly, I notice that Burt's been playing Solitaire this entire time. He calls each card before he turns it over. Wayno watches warily. And I have a confession to make. Five minutes in and I already sort of love Burt, who's currently listing the probability of getting a flush, a straight, a full house, or a pair in poker. Shorthand: it's hard to get a decent hand. In poker, or in life. "The game can't beat the man," Burt says. "The man only beats himself. And so on and so forth." He notices Wayno (his name can't really be Wayno, can it?) eyeing the Desperate Blonde at the slots. "She comes here every Friday, loses her paycheck, cries all week," Burt says, nodding at her. Eventually, DB gets off her stool and treads dejectedly to the bathroom. Wayno watches. Burt watches him watch, then wonders if Wayno's about ready to call it a night. Wayno just gets up and begins to follow DB. Burt grabs him. "Hey, Wayno? You're bluffing me, right?" he asks. Wayno glares. Burt asks Wayno to "walk out and surprise [him]," but Wayno just tears his arm away from Burt and heads for the head. He pauses for a moment, acting as if he might just go into the little boy's room to powder his nose. At the last moment, though, he goes into the ladies' room. Burt shakes his head. In the background, the DB's machine pays off, and a guy begins to yell gleefully. Shortly thereafter, a woman comes running out of the ladies' room, screaming for help. "There's a woman who's been murdered!" she yelps. Burt looks down at the ace of clubs in his hands. Mark Snow turns off the cha cha, cues up Dum Dum Dum Duuuuuum (# 67) and has another donut.

Credits. This week, instead of The Truth is Out There, we get "Dio Te Ama," which is, I believe, "God Loves You," in Italian. Thanks for that daily affirmation, Chris Carter!

FBI HQ, Home of the Cheery Cha Cha. Moronica's reading about the Vegas murder as she walks through the halls of the FBI. There is a truly great overhead shot of her walking through the hallway, people bustling around her, in time to the music. The ceiling beams (through which this shot is framed) make a sort of grid pattern above her. It's a really nice effect. Don't say I never did nothing for you, Carter. I know you directed this. And you did a nice job. Seriously. I really mean it. I do. Moronica, still reading, gets into the elevator. Everyone lines up neatly in front of her. Cha cha cha.

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X-Files

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