X-Files

Episode Report Card
Jessica: B | Grade It Now!
Improbable

Next thing you know, Moronica's showing Scully overheads of several murdered women, including DB. Oh, all right: heh. Not at the dead girls. At the overheads. It's very Mulder of her, and I sort of like it. It's old school, y'all. Moronica intones each victim's name and birthday. I'm so sad that they didn't name a dead girl after me. Come on, Chris! I just said you did a really great job with that overhead shot, and I don't think I've called you a hack in, like, over a week! You know I tease because I love, right? Well, I used to love. I sort of love. It's a thin line between love and hate, anyway. Very thin! The thinnest! Call me! Anyway, Scully doesn't see the connection between all these unsolved crimes. "Am I to presume that you've solved these murders using some kind of numerical calculation?" she eyebrows. Moronica has. "Math sucks!" the Mulder action figure yells from inside his shoe box office, where, yesterday, I caught him lifting weights (the weights being two Lifesavers stuck on a toothpick). "I would never come up with some stupid math -- ouch!" There's a loud thud. The box shakes. Moronica tells Scully that she has: basically, numerology. (According to Astrology-Numerology.com, numerology "is perhaps the easiest of the occult arts to understand and use. All you need is the birth date and the complete name of an individual to unlock all of the secrets that the numbers hold. There are eleven numbers used in constructing Numerology charts. These numbers are 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 11, and 22. Larger numbers that occur from adding the numbers in the complete birth date or from the values assigned to each name, are reduced by adding the digits together until the sum achieved is one of the core numbers. Merely add the components of the larger number together (repeatedly, if necessary) until a single digit (or the "master" numbers 11 or 22) results. Each of these numbers represents different characteristics and expressions." That's the short version, anyway).

X-Files

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