X-Files

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Jessica: B | Grade It Now!
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Improbable

The most surreal scene to date. Cue the extremely cheesy French music. It's so cheesy, I'm going into lactose-induced shock. Wayno peers out of his third-floor apartment window and sees Burt across the street, playing Find the King (if that's actually what it's called) with two old Italian men. Burt spots him and gives a courtly bow. And then Burt starts lip-synching to the French music. Yes. Lip-synching. To French cha cha music. For the rest of the scene. This scene, by the way, reminds me of nothing so much as that Volkswagen commercial where the couple is playing music in the car and the music synchs up with everything that's happening around them -- the windshield wipers, for example. It's just like that, except set in what inexplicably looks like Italy, 1956. People fan themselves; the music makes a swishing noise in concert with the fanning. And so on. It's very complicated, and the editor gets a prize for lining it all up right. Moreover, there are numerical patterns all over the place: three women walk together. There's a shot of triplets. Three guys load three buckets of trash into a truck. In time with the music. The second time I saw this scene, I was impressed. The first time, I was convinced I had fallen asleep on the sofa and was having some very complicated and bizarre dream.

"Je vais chanter pour toi," Burt finishes. I think that translates to "I am going to sing for you," or maybe "I have sung for you." My French isn't what it was. Anyway, whatever it means, he sure has. Or will. ["You were right the first time." -- Wing Chun] Anyway, everyone on the street claps delightedly, and the two Italian men and Burt chatter in Italian, and then the men leave and Wayno (maybe it's Gueno? Or Bueno? I really don't know) stomps over to Burt and demands that he stop following him: "Or you might find yourself dead real soon." Burt airily dismisses this threat, telling WhateverHisNameIs that killing Burt "doesn't fit [Wayno's] pattern." Get it? Patterns? Numbers? Seriously, it's rather clever. No, I really think it is. No, really. I mean it. I'm not joking. Hey, this beer is good. Burt assures Wayno that Burt's not going to rat Wayno out because Burt "can't show them what they won't see." Then Burt waves at his little folding table, sucking Wayno into a round of Find the King. Which Wayno doesn't win, of course. "You know, there's a secret to this game, Wayno, and I'm going to tell you what the secret is. Choose better," Burt says. Wayno angrily demands that if Burt has something to say, he better just say it! "Son, I just did," Burt says mildly. This infuriates Wayno, who tosses Burt's table to the ground, scattering cards to the four winds. Then he stomps off.

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X-Files

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