X-Files

Episode Report Card
Jessica: B | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Improbable

A moment later, Wayno stops in the middle of the sidewalk, almost causing the woman behind him to run right into him. That woman? Moronica Reyes. She eventually just walks around him, not even huffing the giant sign of irritation I generally use in that situation. She strolls past him and into a large brownstone called "Hotel Knickerbocker." This episode is so clearly shot on the FOX lot. It's interesting, because this show never does lot work. And I know that the fake look of the episode plays into the kitcshy tone set by, like, the incessant cha, but it also reminds me how good a job the set designers and location scouts do on this show every week, and they never get any love. Way to go, crew!

Moronica enters room 333, which is the office of, you guessed it, a numerologist. Said numerologist is played by Ellen Greene, who was Audrey (the woman, not the man-eating plant) in the movie version of Little Shop of Horrors. So, let's call her Audrey, even though this character's name is right on the door of her office. Audrey automatically starts rattling off instructions to Moronica, about filling out a form and yada yada yada unlock life's mysteries through the magic of numbers blah. Moronica breaks the news that she's not there for a reading. She needs Audrey's help in solving a couple of pesky murders that may have a numerological connection. "I give valuable insights to the living. The dead pretty much already know their future," Audrey says. Where's Seymour? Shouldn't he be standing beside her? Wow, I am a giant dork. But that movie? Rocks. Come on! Steve Martin alone is worth the price of the rental. Moronica and Audrey bicker about whether Audrey could actually be of any help to the Feds, but Moronica finally lands the deal by convincing Audrey that she could be saving the lives of countless young women by helping stop Wayno. Audrey's looking at Moronica's files when the latter's cell phone rings. It's Doggett, and we're treated to another funky split screen. I love the split screen. If only Doggett was in a bubble bath. Speaking of, where the hell is Skinner? Doggett tells Moronica that they've found two more victims with ring marks on their faces. "Now, I know you were good, but this? This is career-launching," Doggett says. Moronica blushes. Is this a dream? That would explain a lot; Burt Reynolds, the cha cha music, the...everything. Doggett advises that Moronica get back to the office.

Moronica walks into the war room back at FBI HQ, and the entire room bursts into thunderous applause. Okay, so this is a dream. Right? Seriously, I'm sure this is a dream sequence. It's got to be a dream sequence. It's all about, like, Moronica's intense desire for approval and love, or something. But no. No, we're still going. There's no waking up with a start to discover she's been knocked out by Wayno and locked in his closet for six weeks and this is just a hallucination. Okay. Well, moving on, then. Scully's clapping really half-assedly, and Doggett looks completely stunned that one of Moronica's crazy theories is actually right. For her part, Moronica looks completely happy and a little surprised. Aw. That's sort of...wait, what the hell is wrong with me? I guess I can admit that Annabeth Gish has a sort of appealing awkwardness that she's finally using here in a way that makes sense, instead of trying to pass it off as, like, being Spacey But Psychic or something. An assistant director we've never met (I'm going to call him Jack Hole, because he is one) calls Moronica's work on this case "brilliant" and starts blathering about Wayno, whom they're calling "the Triple Zero Killer," which is like the worst name for a serial killer ever. The Night Stalker, now that's a good name. Or Son of Sam. I mean, come on. The Triple Zero Killer? That's just insulting to the criminal. Jack Hole appoints Scully lead forensic investigator, because no one at the FBI is aware of the fact that she's a teacher at Quantico now, and also because they don't know anyone else who knows how to make a Y-incision. Doggett, on the other hand, will be leading the field investigation. Which makes sense, because he used to be a cop and all and I guess the agents assigned to the X-Files would be on this case because Moronica broke it or something but...oh, whatever. Life is too short. Jack Hole enumerates a number of facts about the killer (he's "angry and impulsive," for example) and then asks for Moronica's "special insight" into the killer's persona. Moronica opens her mouth and ruins her reputation by blathering about soul numbers and birth paths and the killer's "karmic destiny number." She smiles enthusiastically and confides that "the killer is almost certainly working off of numerical vibrational disharmonies." Everyone just stares at her blankly. Luckily, she's rescued at this point by the ringing of her cell phone. It's Audrey, who's discovered something strange in the charts. As Audrey begins to explain, the door swings open behind her. It's Wayno. Audrey's voice trails off. She and Wayno stare at each other.

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12Next

X-Files

Comments

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP