X-Files

Episode Report Card
Jessica: A- | 380 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
He's Totally Resistible, Dude

Scully and Mulder walk through yet another drizzly graveyard, listening to the grave drawl of fellow FBI Agent Moe Bocks, who's telling them that Minneapolis PD recently called the field office, asking for some Federal assistance in what looks like a case of grave desecration. The agents walk past a gravestone reading "Raymond Soames," which is the name of the victim they exhumed in the pilot. It's also the first of many in-jokes in this Chris Carter-penned episode. It's a rather clever gag, but because Ray Soames was buried in Oregon, it's a mistake in continuity. And because what in season two was an amusing meta-reference is, from the vantage point of season eight, an irritating reminder of the way this show has thrown continuity out the window in order to shoehorn in private jests and visually pleasing but nonsensical tableau, I find it retroactively annoying. Agent Bocks is still adenoidally telling his tale. "Anything slightly freakazoid, that's the drill," he says. "Call Moe Bocks. As if I'm tight with all the nutcases in town." Scully wavers the umbrella over her head, thinking that she was under the impression that Mulder was the one who got all the calls about the freakazoids. Bocks tells our heroes that he came into town to "see what's the what" (which...seriously, I'm watching Buffy while I'm proofreading this, and someone just said that exact line. Also, the time code on the tape? Okay, it's only 10:05, but that's close enough to 10:13 to be weird, right?). What Bocks saw, he says, "knocked [him] on [his] butt." Mulder's been listening with uncharacteristic silence. When they get to the open grave, he sort of straddles the hole to get a better look at the contents. Bocks is still talking, telling Mulder that he called his friends over at MUFON (I think that's the Mutual UFO Network, and I'm pretty sure they're supposed to be a bunch of nuts). Bocks namedrops someone at MUFON, and looks at Mulder, who absently remarks that he doesn't know anyone at MUFON. "Well, they know you," Bocks says. Mulder blinks. Scully looks down into the grave. Inside an open coffin is a young girl, all turned and twisted, her hair cut off, her hands bloody. Scully turns green. Bocks yammers that he thought this whole desecration thing was quite possibly UFO-related, because it reminds him of cattle mutilations. Am I doomed to recap every episode of this show that somehow references cattle mutilation? Because it's beginning to feel that way. ["Yeah, but it is The X-Files. It sort of comes with the territory. It's not like you kept coming across cattle mutilations in episodes of, say, Bands on the Run." -- Wing Chun] Scully has to back away from the grave and look at the ground. Mulder tells Bocks that this doesn't look like the work of any little green men. He saw this kind of thing, he says, back when he worked in Violent Crimes. Behind him, Scully looks like she's going to vomit. Mulder goes into full Profiler mode, telling Bocks that their man might work at the cemetery, but that it's more likely that he works in a mortuary. And he's probably been busted before, but they won't find a record of it. Ah, remember back when Mulder seemed really smart and just a little crazy, rather than mostly crazy and just sort of vaguely well-read? Those were the days. "You're saying some human's been doing this?" Bocks gasps. "If you want to call him that," Mulder snarks.

X-Files

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