X-Files

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Jessica: A- | 427 USERS: C+
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John Doe

It's Flashback time! You can tell it's a flashback because the camera lens is all filmy, like on Passions when Eve flashes back to when she was a drug-addicted nightclub singer who had a baby with Julian Crane and then it either died or was kidnapped by Julian's minions and then raised in a town far away and now has returned to romance Eve's daughter in a variation on the ever-popular I Love My Sister storyline and you can barely even see the action because they've got the lens covered in Vaseline. Speaking of Passions, how hysterical is this current story arc, with Julian Crane dead (or is he?) and every single person in town acting guilty and carrying a gun? Oh, right: The X-Files. I'm sorry. Anyway, in this flashback, Doggett's sleeping in a warm and comfortable bed, all curled up and cozy next to...a blonde woman. Dammit, I honestly thought for half a second that it was going to be Skinner. Then I remembered that I don't write for this show anywhere other than in my own head. DeadLuke -- alive for flashback purposes -- hops up onto the bed and starts jumping up and down. In prison, Doggett opens his eyes and grips his head. I guess his flashbacks are debilitating, like Cordelia's visions on Angel. You know, before they made her into a demon and all.

Day 8: Doggett's still in jail, and he looks like ass. Although he sure does know how to fill out a t-shirt. Anyway, some dude finally bails out Goatee, whose name we learn is "Domingo." They speak of the Spanish, and Domingo calls the dude "Nestor," which I appreciate because the only name I could think to call him was The Dude Who Bailed Goatee Out of The Pokey, and that'd be a bitch to type. Domingo's all leaving, but he shoots one last look at Doggett. "How much for him?" he asks in Spanish. "Not much. Why, are you in love?" Nestor cracks. In another shout-out to me! Gay love cracks are a shout-out! (P.S. Thanks to my friend Carrie, who called me at the commercial to translate those lines for me. I'd hate to miss a fabricated shout-out just because I chose to learn the wrong foreign language). Anyway, Domingo offers to take Doggett with him, and says he's got a job for him. "What kind of job?" Doggett asks. "What the hell do you care?" Domingo asks.

So, I guess Doggett agreed that he doesn't really care, because the next thing you know, Doggett and Nestor and Domingo are all walking around outside the jail. Domingo reflects that maybe if Doggett works real hard, Domingo will buy him another shoe. "Right one, left one, your choice," he smirks. Doggett just marches right past Domingo's battered old car. It's not like he's actually planning to work for Domingo, or anything. Domingo, however, makes it abundantly clear that Doggett will be working for him. "I own you like I own that car," he says. Doggett glances back, looking pissed, and then starts walking again. Next thing you know, Nestor got a gun in Doggett's back. Doggett turns and stares, and then swiftly disarms him. Apparently, the amnesia hasn't wiped out his kung-fu grip. Domingo sneers something about finding out that whomever Doggett is, he isn't a man of his word. Doggett just unloads the gun with one hand, throws it away and then walks off.

X-Files

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