X-Files

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John Doe

Credits.

Day 2: Prison. Doggett's still only wearing one shoe, which he takes off and starts banging against the bars. He calls loudly for the guards. No response. A guy with a goatee watches him and chuckles as Doggett bends down to put his shoe back on. "Something funny? Yo soy ha ha?" Doggett spits. He's a little cranky, what with the prison and the amnesia and the one shoe and whatnot. "Nice touch, putting it back on again. Your one shoe," Goatee says. Doggett's all, you speak English? Why didn't you say something before? "You weren't funny before," Goatee says. Doggett asks where the hell they are -- what the name of the town is. "Man, if you can't remember, you must have had one fine time getting here," Goatee says; he then asks what Doggett's name is. Doggett says nothing. "Damn, you don't know that either, huh? Call you 'One Shoe.' Señor Uno Zapato, huh? One Shoe, what do you know?" I think I'm going to take that as a shout-out, because if I didn't know Doggett's name, I would have dubbed him One Shoe myself. In fact, now that we know The X-Files is ending in May, I expect shout-outs in each and every episode. Even if I have to make them up! Which I will. Moving right along: all Doggett knows is that he's got to get out of the pokey. Goatee makes some comment about needing cash to bribe the guards, because that's the only way Doggett's going to be able to swing getting sprung. Doggett offers that maybe he'll call the American embassy! Goatee muses that the embassy will probably be able to get Doggett home, eventually. But where is home? he asks. Doggett doesn't know. Because he doesn't know anything. Because he has amnesia. Still following? "You know what I think, One Shoe? Maybe getting home is not in your best interest," Goatee says. Because all the Americans in this little piñata-filled Mexican town are on the lam. "In this town, people like you come here to disappear," Goatee announces. And speaking of disappearing, I'm afraid I've got some very bad news. The Scully action figure is nowhere to be found. I don't mean that she's fallen behind the sofa or between the desk and the bookshelf. The Mulder and I spent most of Sunday tearing my apartment from stem to stern. And...nothing. Although I did find her tiny plastic cell phone nestled inside one of my loafers. Yeah, I don't know what to tell you people. She's just...gone. "People like me? You don't know me," Doggett spits. "Hey, you don't know you," Goatee points out helpfully. Doggett looks thoughtful.

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X-Files

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