X-Files

Episode Report Card
Jessica: A | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Jose Chung's From Outer Space

Geeky explains that he came to when Mulder smacked him across the face. "Where's the tape?" Mulder spits. "He took it," Geeky yelps. Mulder slaps him again! "Who?" he asks. "The other men in black," Geeky whines. "If I find out you lied to me, you're a dead man," Mulder says, tossing Geeky's head back against the mattress and dramatically exiting.

Geeky finishes his tale and looks up balefully at Jose Chung. I notice that Geeky has an "I Want to Believe" poster on his wall, too. "I never saw him again," Geeky says of Mulder. Jose Chung wonders if Geeky isn't somewhat nervous, talking about these events in light of all the death threats he's received from various seemingly dangerous men. Geeky explains that you don't play Dungeons or Dragons for years without "learning a little something about courage." Jose Chung chuckles and makes a note of this. Literally.

Scully voice-overs that, "after not recovering the tape," Mulder headed back to the motel. "And that's when his version of things gets a little...odd," she says, over a shot of Mulder driving past a beat-up looking naked guy. He slams on the brakes and flips a bitch to chase down the naked guy. I have no comment about that. He pulls up alongside Naked Guy. "Lieutenant Jack Sheaffer?" Mulder asks. Jack reaches in the open car window and grabs Mulder's collar. "This is not happening! It's not happening!" he yelps.

So, Mulder and Jack go to a diner, where Jack makes a mountain of mashed potatoes and explains that one's military adversaries are much less likely to fire upon a spaceship from another galaxy than they are to fire on a U.S. warplane. Which makes good sense to me. "But the abductions?" Mulder asks. Jack shrugs and explains that he's just the pilot. He doesn't deal with the abductees all that much. "You ever flown a flying saucer?" he asks. "Afterwards, sex seems trite." Mulder has no response to that, not having had sex in approximately six years. If you don't count that vampire girl in Season Two. Details, details. "But what do you do with the abductees?" Mulder presses on. "Take 'em back to the base. Let the doctors work on 'em. Nothing physical. They just mess with their minds," Jack says, poking his potatoes with a fork. "Hypnosis," Mulder breathes. Jack nods and explains that these poor people go into a perfectly ordinary room and come out positive they were probed by aliens. Mulder thinks about this; he then wonders what abducted Jack, then, if the whole abduction thing is a governmental hoax. Jack stares at his plate. Finally, he explains that he's completely sure he and the kids were abducted...but that, given what he knows about the way the government works, he can't be sure that he's sure of anything. "I'm not sure we're even having this conversation," he says. "I'm not sure if these mashed potatoes are here. I'm not sure if you really even exist." Mulder looks at him for a beat. "I can only assure you that I do," Mulder finally says. "Well, thanks, buddy," Jack says around his cigarette. "Unfortunately, I can't give you the same assurance about me." At this point, Dead Inside Kyle McLachlan and his military cronies come marching into the diner. "Well, looks like I'm a dead man," Jack offers. Mulder hurriedly blurts that all this alien stuff can't be faked. He asks about the Red alien. "Who, Kimboat?" Jack asks nonchalantly. Mulder blanches. And the suits grab Jack and drag him away. Dead Inside Kyle McLachlan gives Mulder a dirty, dirty look.

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X-Files

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