Episode Report Card
Jessica: A | 1 USERS: A+
Jose Chung's From Outer Space

We cut to Geeky, riding in Rocky's old lifty truck thingie, looking up at the night sky. "Evidence of extra-terrestrial existence remains as elusive as ever," Jose Chung Voice-overs. "But the skies will continues to be searched by the likes of [Geeky], hoping to someday find not only proof of alien life, but also contentment on a new world. Until then, he must be content with his new job." Geeky yells in pain as a hail of sparks fall into his trolley thingie.

Over to a shot of Rocky, who's wearing a black sweatsuit and lecturing to a bunch of people and standing in front of a painting of...I don't know. Some new age-inspired hoo-ha thing. "Others search for answers from within," Jose Chung continues. "Rocky relocated to El Cajon, CA, preaching to the lost and desperate." In his classroom, Rocky lectures about enlightenment, and the all-encompassing importance of one's soul avoiding "the lava men" as it descends inner earth to the core. Yes, words to live by, people. If I've taught you anything in the past few years, I hope it's to keep the lava men away from your soul.

Her feet on Mulder's desk, Scully reads From Outer Space by Jose Chung. "Seeking the truth about aliens means a perfunctory, 9-5 job to some," Jose Chung continues. "For although Agent Diana Lesky is noble of spirit and pure at heart, she remains nevertheless a federal employee." Scully's final line in this episode -- and for our purposes here at TWoP -- is, fittingly, an enormous eyebrow.

Casa Mulder, where the man lies shirtless in bed, watching the TV and playing with the remote. Hey, Mulder has a bed at this point? Nice to know that the non-continuity continuity with Mulder and Scully's apartments existed even in these early, good episodes. As for Mulder, here, I don't know where his right hand is, nor do I want to. Let's move on. "For her partner, Reynard Muldrake, a ticking time bomb of insanity, his quest into the unknown has so warped his psyche that one shudders to think how he receives any pleasure from life," Jose Chung announces. Mulder grunts in pleasure at the Sasquatch video on his TV. And with that, we bid him farewell. "Ah, Sasquatch," the Mulder action figure sighs. "My ever-elusive nemesis." The Scully action figure just looks at me and raises a plastic brow. Business as usual here in Plastic Action Figure land, friends.

As for our bit players, Jose Chung tells us that Chrissy decided that the aliens wanted her to join Amnesty International and Greenpeace, and she is now "wholeheartedly" trying to improve the human condition here on earth. She's in her room, working on her computer. Rocks hit the window, which she goes and opens. Outside on the lawn is poor, misguided, lovelorn Harold. "Oh, it's you. What do you want?" Chrissy asks, uninterested. "I just wanted to tell you, I still love you," Harold calls up, sadly. "Love," Chrissy spits. "Is that all you men think about?" she asks, then shuts the window on him. Poor Harold just looks down sadly at the lawn and runs away.

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