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Jessica: A | 1 USERS: A+
Jose Chung's From Outer Space

Fade to Klass County. About dawn. I presume. I have not actually seen dawn in...oh, approximately nine years. That's a lie, now that I think about it. Last summer, I was in a wedding and I had to get up at 3 in the morning so as to have my hair done in time for the 10 AM ceremony. That was not the easiest morning of my life, friends. Anyway, Scully explains that they didn't hear about the case right off the bat, since not enough time had elapsed for it to be considered a missing persons case before Chrissy popped up. Also, you know, because there's no reason the X-Files would get called in before the kids started yammering about the little green men.

Cut to Chrissy sitting in the car, alone and looking scarred from...you know, the anal probe or whatever happened to her on the ship. Scully voice-overs that Chrissy was suffering from "missing time," and had no idea what had happened to her or how she ended up where she did. Chrissy's clothes were on inside out and backward, Scully says (although they aren't, really, unless Chrissy is in the habit of wearing cardigans that button up the back, in which case I suspect that the aliens took her as a favor to the fashion police). Chrissy exhibited signs of physical abuse, Scully says. Jose Chung sighs that he's had a morning or two like that, and that it seems as though Chrissy's symptoms are in keeping with people who are... "Do you prefer the term 'abductee' or 'experiencer'?" he asks. Scully sighs that she prefers neither, but that Mulder uses "abductee." Jose Chung shares that he prefers the latter. "'I've just had an alien experience,'" he swaggers, "versus 'I've just been abducted!'" Scully has no response to this, so Jose Chung goes back to scribbling in his little leather book. "Regardless," Scully says, "the girl was considered neither at the time. She appeared to be a victim of date rape more than anything else."

Cut to a shot of Chrissy sleeping in her pristine little twin bed, marred only by the blood seeping out of her nose. Oh, man! Does this mean Chrissy is going to end up infertile and with terminal nose cancer? Poor little thing. "She was given a physical exam, and her statement was taken," Scully continues. "Later that night, she received her...visitation." At this, Chrissy wakes up, touching her nose. She looks up to see a Gray alien standing at the foot of the bed, reaching for her. Chrissy screams and turns on her light. The alien is just a stuffed cat, which she kicks violently. Dude, it's not Kitty Fantastico's fault. Dial it down, sister. Chrissy heaves a deep breath. Something hits the window, and Chrissy shuts off the light and goes to look out into the yard. A shadow, looking like nothing so much as an alien, falls across the yard. When the creature walks into the light, however, it just turns out to just be Harold. Chrissy flings the window open. "Chrissy, thank God you're all right!" he calls up to her. "How dare you come here?" Chrissy hisses. Harold explains that he "did everything he could." Chrissy's jaw clenches. "Don't I know it, you bastard," she spits, as the lights come on downstairs. Harold turns tail and runs. "Chrissy, I love you!" he shouts over his shoulder.

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