Lone Gunmen HQ. Enter Doggett and Moronica. The Moronic One is not impressed by the Gunmen's less than fully loaded digs. "Did you get robbed?" she asks. The boys lie that they're waiting for all new equipment. Doggett intones that he needs their help, and with the assistance of Frohike and Byers recaps the entire Super Solider Story Arc for the benefit of the audience. Again, dudes? We know. Genetically engineered. Trying to kill Mulder. Got it. Moving on. Moronica tells the boys that they're trying to track down a woman, and then shows them a picture of Yves Adele "Fat Lips" Harlow. The Gunmen look shocked, to a man. Langly IDs her as a fellow hacker, and exposits that she disappeared a year ago. Doggett thinks she may have "become" a Super Solider. So you can just turn into one? Good to know. I'll add "checking for bumps on the back of my neck" to my morning routine, right between "brushing my teeth" and "taking my vitamin." The boys don't think Yves Collagen Face could possibly be a Super Solider.
"This is pointless. These boys couldn't find stink in an outhouse," Morris Fletcher announces from the doorway. Everyone rolls his or her eyes, and Frohike goes after Morris with a golf club. Doggett stops him with one hand. Langly, for his part, tries to leap on Morris to strangle him, but Moronica stops him. With one hand. Byers -- because he's a man of words, not violence -- says that Morris is "a professional con artist." Frohike sputters that Morris kidnapped Yves LippyMcLips last year. I can't believe that this episode is basically being used as a series finale for The Lone Gunmen when we've only got a limited amount of hours left to unravel the disaster that is The X-Files. We need to focus! Morris points out that because he was the one who kidnapped Yves Lipsalot, he knows what happened to her. And she was -- oh, you know what? Screw it. Yves des Lips Larges is not a Super Solider. I don't have time for red herrings this week, people. But for purposes of wrapping up Carter's stupid vanity show, Doggett and Moronica think it would be a good idea to track down Yves Fat Smackers because....I don't even know why. Obviously, this whole "I need a Super Solider as my own personal bodyguard" thing is totally crap, because as far as I understand it, they don't really work like that. Or do they? Do they want to talk to her about the whole Mulder thing? I don't know. I think this is just a way to bring Yves Lipsy Malone back into the picture. Whatever.