So, Stupid Natalie flops onto the ground with the sparkler between her teeth. "You're going to freaking fly, man! This is going to be spectacular!" Winky tells Capt. Dare. After a round of "you are the man"/ "I am the man," Winky pushes Capt. Dare and the Cart of Doom down the street. The Cart shortly veers off course and tips over. Capt. Dare falls out. Natalie runs over to him and starts poking him. "Now that's a dumb-ass!" Winky says to the camera. But it's also a dead dumb-ass, since Capt. Dare isn't moving, and when Natalie takes off his helmet, he's wearing an unrealistically squashed plastic head. She screams, also unrealistically.
Credits. At last! Dude! (See, that was correct usage.)
Welcome to the Medical Examiners Unit, in Ocean County, New Jersey. Doggett and Moronica emerge from the elevator, and are greeted by the ME. "I was told you were the experts," he tells them. They exchange glances. "Our expertise is the unexplained," Moronica monotones. Blah blah wacky death, blah blah call in the Feds, blah blah blah blah unfunny banter.
Autopsy bay. Doggett asks the ME to give them a rundown on what happened to the victim. The ME would "prefer not to go on record," as the kid's parents are litigious, and he doesn't want to get embroiled in some kind of lawsuit. Mark Snow begins piping in some crazy music that sounds like it's being played on a pan flute. Yeah. A pan flute. I don't know what that's all about, either. I keep expecting a centaur to come trotting in to place a wreath of freesia on Doggett's head or something. The three of them stare at the body, which comes complete with a fakey-fakola head of plastic, like the special effects guys totally picked that up at Sav-On on their way to the set. "Off the record Doc, what the heck has this got to do with a supermarket shopping cart?" Doggett asks, looking at Capt. Dare's squooshed-in skull. The ME asks if Doggett and Moronica have heard of The Dumb-ass Show. Doggett makes a confused face, so the ME explains the concept. While he's yammering, Moronica stares at Capt. Dare's smashed face. Something is moving under his eyelid. She tells the men to shut it for a second, and then lifts the lid with a metal instrument. A massive amount of flies swarms out of the eye socket and toward the ceiling. ["This sounds like a case for Gil Grissom." -- Sars] You think that's scary, Carter? Flies? They're not even all that scary, as insects go! Maggots, now, maggots are scary. Maggots would be gross. Flies -- feh.