Witter/Dick household. Emory's examining his zits in his bedroom mirror when the doorbell rings. He strolls out into the hallway and peers over the landing. Below, Principal Witter is talking to someone standing in the doorway. She shakes her head, and shuts the door. Emory speeds back to his room and looks out the window, seeing Natalie speeding away from the house in her red VW bug. Speaking of speed, I'd like some right about now, because this episode is putting me to sleep. Principal Witter goes back to knocking on Emory's door and yelling at him, but he just puts on his coat, climbs out the window and down the trellis to the street.
Magically, Principal Witter manages to catch him in the driveway. Hands on hips, she berates him about how she knows where he's going and how he needs to stay away from Natalie because she'll only destroy his career as an actor with her bad, bad technique. I mean, "because she'll get him into trouble." "We're friends!" Emory yells at his mother. "We've been friends since we were kids!" But they're not kids anymore! No! Emory's body is going through changes! Changes that Principal Witter would like to talk to him about! Emory just bitches that his mother doesn't understand him and blah, blah, blah, blah, oh my God, could I be more bored? I think I was more intellectually engaged in Algebra II. And I hate algebra and spent the vast majority of those classes staring out the window and thinking about how awesome it was going to be when I married Jason Priestley (what? It was 1992).
Over on a nearby street, Rocky and Scully are fiddling with a pheromone-reading device of some sort. "So many flowers. So little time," Rocky says, smirking at her. Scully makes a "huh?" face as Rocky waxes poetic about the power of pheromones. Scully rolls her eyes and tells him that, according to their device, there isn't a single pheromone in the area. Rocky doesn't think that could possibly be correct, because the device is sensitive to traces of pheromones in any direction. Scully wonders aloud why the flies they're looking for have been reacting so violently. Rocky explains that all bugs "react to stimuli and circumstance. And it may be that these bugs are somehow being driven crazy. By desire." He leans in and gives Scully his best sultry eyeball. Eyebrow. Huge, huge eyebrow. I can't help it. Rocky's cracking my shit up. It may be connected to the massive amounts of chocolate and fat I've consumed over the last few days. My new office seems to specialize in pumping its employees full of sugar and caffeine 24/7. Rocky tells Scully that "we humans" are subject to the power of the pheromone, too. "Yeah, I, uh, tend to believe that," Scully says. Rocky names as an example "women's dormitory syndrome," in which "women who live together share the same menstrual cycle." He smiles at her, slowly. Cheesily. "Fascinating," Scully responds, dryly. "You know, when a male and female Colphineas fly mate, they stay joined for up to one and a half hours. One and a half, Doctor," Rocky says, leaning in all faux-sexy. Scully swallows a smile. "You know, Rocky," she begins, "I'm a mother." Rocky raises both brows. "Mothers are women, too," he says. Not mine! My mother is a virgin. Scully's all, the eyebrow is back and better than ever. The pheromone device starts beeping crazily. Rocky explains that they're getting a big, big hit. "Incoming," he says, and the two of them lean back and stare at the sky as Emory Dick rides his bike behind them. It's nice to know that Kim Manner still knows how to set up a shot.