Emory takes off his coat and flops onto his bed. He reaches for a remote control device, and turns on the stereo. He rolls over on to his back and stares mopily at a wallet-sized photo of Natalie. "You're different from meeeee," the music sings. Principal Witter knocks furiously at Emory's door, yelling at him to open up. He just cranks up the tunes and rolls over and squeezes his eyes shut. It is at this point that my mother would have stormed inside and started waving her finger in my face. As Emory wallows in misery, flies cover the window and ceiling of his room, crawling slowly toward his head.
The lab. Scully's doing the microscope thing, looking at bugs. She glances up when Doggett and Moronica enter the room, telling them that she thinks they've gotten their first real break, thanks to Rocky; all the flies they found in Capt. Dare's mashed plastic skull are female. Doggett wonders how, exactly, this is a break. "Well, what are the chances of that?" Scully retorts, rather sassily. Moronica wonders if "the absence of the male" provides an explanation for the attack, "behaviorally." I know there's a joke in there somewhere, but I'm writing this, making Chex Mix, addressing my holiday cards, and trimming my tree simultaneously, and I just don't have time to find it. You know where I'm going, though, so make your own fun this time. I'll owe you one. So, blah blah blah bugs blah blah; Doggett tells Scully about the incident with Winky at the school, which Scully dismisses as "an aggressive attack of body lice," like, do lice know how to write? Because that's pretty impressive. Doggett asks basically the same question, and Moronica points out that Winky was way too freaked for the stunt to have been staged. By him, anyway. She thinks "someone is directing the biology." Scully wonders how one would direct an insect. Moronica doesn't know, but she and Doggett have been running down a list of witnesses, and they came across someone who was present at each and every Dumb-ass stunt: Emory Dick. Moronica wants to talk to him.
Witter/Dick household. Emory's examining his zits in his bedroom mirror when the doorbell rings. He strolls out into the hallway and peers over the landing. Below, Principal Witter is talking to someone standing in the doorway. She shakes her head, and shuts the door. Emory speeds back to his room and looks out the window, seeing Natalie speeding away from the house in her red VW bug. Speaking of speed, I'd like some right about now, because this episode is putting me to sleep. Principal Witter goes back to knocking on Emory's door and yelling at him, but he just puts on his coat, climbs out the window and down the trellis to the street.
Magically, Principal Witter manages to catch him in the driveway. Hands on hips, she berates him about how she knows where he's going and how he needs to stay away from Natalie because she'll only destroy his career as an actor with her bad, bad technique. I mean, "because she'll get him into trouble." "We're friends!" Emory yells at his mother. "We've been friends since we were kids!" But they're not kids anymore! No! Emory's body is going through changes! Changes that Principal Witter would like to talk to him about! Emory just bitches that his mother doesn't understand him and blah, blah, blah, blah, oh my God, could I be more bored? I think I was more intellectually engaged in Algebra II. And I hate algebra and spent the vast majority of those classes staring out the window and thinking about how awesome it was going to be when I married Jason Priestley (what? It was 1992).