LBO. Scully sits at Mulder's desk, examining his name plaque. She looks at the "I Want To Believe" poster. Her hair looks very, very nice. Take off the taupe, though, Dana. Take off the taupe. Mulder bustles in, all decked out in casual wear and carrying a duffle bag, yammering that he "made a last-ditch effort" to get out of "it," but that the Bureau is forcing him to take a vacay by threatening to dock his pay if he doesn't get the hell out of town. He pulls some files out of the cabinets. "I don't like it," he says, "but I got no choice. I gotta pay the rent, I gotta eat." Oh, Mulder! Everyone knows that you've got a fortune stashed away in the Caymans, the better to live on once you have to go on the lam. Scully watches him silently as he keeps blathering that this is "another way for [the FBI] to get rid of [him]," but that he's really relieved she'll be around to hold down the fort. He hands her some files to "keep an eye on." Scully just stares at him coolly. "Why don't I have a desk?" she finally asks. "What do you mean?" Mulder asks. Scully gestures with his nameplate. "I always assumed that that was your area," Mulder says, nodding toward the darkness behind them. "Back there?" Scully eyebrows calmly. Mulder sits. "Okay, so, we'll have them send down another desk and there won't be any room to move down here but we can put them really close together, face to face and maybe we can play some Battleship," he says. Scully doesn't crack a smile at this. And while the image of the two of them playing Battleship is a cute one, excuse me, Mulder? Scully can't have a desk because you'll feel too cramped? In your basement office? I hate to say this -- really, it pains me -- but shut up.
Scully looks at him for a long beat. "What was it you want me to keep an eye on?" she finally asks. The contact at the Memorial, he tells her. "Who had the distinction of being present for a first -- that being you abandoning me during questioning," he spits. Scully has no response to this comment. Looks like we've got a little lovers' quarrel in full effect here. "In future, I'll make sure that all those people being interviewed provide you with a multimedia laser show to keep your interest maintained," Mulder continues. Scully gives him a very dirty but slightly -- very slightly -- chastened look. Mulder hands her a file and tells her that he wants her to keep an eye on Somebody Pudovkin, an immigrant who blah blah blah Mulder thinks he knows something about aliens. Scully looks at him dryly. Mulder hands her a paper, asking her to run checks on all these Russian dudes and then go to Philadelphia and follow them around. The names on this list, by the way, include "Vladimer Nabokov" and "Yakof Smirnoff." Did you know that "Smirnoff" is in Microsoft Word's Spellcheck? "Smirnoff," but not "dicksmack." What the hell kind of world are we living in? Mulder slaps an airline ticket on the desk.