X-Files

Episode Report Card
Jessica: B+ | 2 USERS: A
YOU GRADE IT
Never Again

After a moment, Russian UnderSurveillenceski walks in and gestures at Milty, who nods. "Pardon me. You look," he tells Scully. Ed pulls on his shirt. "Mind some advice from a stranger?" he asks Scully. "Make sure you've thought it over before you get it done." Scully smiles slyly at him. "What, you didn't get the tattoo you deserve?" she asks, rather flirtatiously. He smiles at her. "Mine was...too impulsive," he says. "Never say never?" Scully asks. She is flirting with him! Ed nods. "Sometimes I wish I were that impulsive," Scully tells him. This is Ed's cue to wonder what a nice girl like Scully is doing in a crappy tattoo parlor like this. Scully smoothly lies that she's visiting her aunt, who lives in the neighborhood. "How about you?" she asks. Ed tells her that "there's a real crummy bar across the street that's good for when you're feeling down." Apparently, he was feeling down. Scully looks out the window at The Hard Eight Lounge. A bunch of bikers are milling around the doorway. "So, it wasn't so much 'impulsive' as it was 'hammered'?" she asks, smiling coyly up at him. Ed grins at her. "Have you, um, seen much of Philadelphia?" he asks. "No," Scully says, no doubt thinking bitterly that she never gets to have any fun because Mulder is, like, the enemy of fun, what with all the blah blah my sister got abducted, blee blee search for the truth, yada yada please drill a hole in my head crap. "There's a couple of really nice restaurants by the river, if you're interested," Ed says. "I'd like that," Scully tells him. Ed's face lights up. Aw, the hot guy with the crazy talking tattoo likes Scully! Who then tells him that, unfortunately, she's leaving town tonight and can't go eat with him. Ed bravely gives her his business card and tells her to give him a ring if she's ever in town again. "That's my home number. I work there mainly," he says, and takes off. Scully watches him go, then looks at the card thoughtfully.

The hotel. 5:25. Scully's typing on her laptop, sitting Indian-style on the bed. Native-American style. Cross-legged. Whatev. The phone rings. It's Mulder. "Mulder, what's wrong?" Scully says. Whatever happened to "hello," with these two, anyway? "Nothing's wrong. I'm just at that special place and I wanted to share it with you," Mulder says, turning around to show off his Elvis-style sunglasses. He's visiting Graceland, where I've actually always wanted to go. I can only imagine the kitschy goodness of the Graceland gift shop. "How did you know where I was?" she asks shortly. Mulder sputters that he just called the place they always stay. "I knew you wouldn't abandon me," he tells her. "Like I do to you all the time." (I just added that last bit myself.) Mulder asks how the case is going. She tells him she handed it over to the Philadelphia bureau. Mulder is flabbergasted. "They don't know or care about the X-Files," he sputters. "What are you doing?" Scully shoots the phone a dirty look. "Mulder, there is no X-File," she explains, telling him that it's swindling and extortion, nothing else. "How do you know?" Mulder asks. "What do you mean, how do I know? You assigned me the background check," Scully retorts shirtily. "I did as told. As always." Mulder turns around, right in the middle of Graceland, and heaves an exasperated sigh. "Okay, just hold off until I get there," he instructs. "What, you don't think I'm capable?" Scully yelps. Mulder assures her that he does, of course, think she's capable. "It's just in this case --" he begins. "It's not just in this case, Mulder," Scully snits. Mulder asks the name of the agent she dealt with in the Philadelphia Bureau. Scully won't give it to him. "It is over. Done. Pudovkin is out of our hands. Look, Mulder, I have to go," she says. "What, you got a date or something?" Mulder scoffs. Scully silently eyebrows the phone. "You're kidding!" Mulder says. Scully replies that everything is under control. "I will talk to you later," she says firmly, and hangs up, making a deeply irritated face. In Graceland, Mulder practices a few of his Elvis moves, causing all the other tourists to roll their eyes.

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