Now we're getting the Previouslys? Whatever. Last season, on The X-Files: Noel Rrrrrooooooaoarrrrr told Doggett that the government was trying to create a "super-soldier," and they're using Scully's body to do it; pretty, pretty Krycek very solemnly told Scully that her baby was "a miracle"; Scully insisted that the baby was completely normal; Mulder made concerned faces; Skinner shot Krycek in the head; Skinner and Doggett got chased all around the parking lot by Agent Crane and Noel Rrrrrrooooaaaarrrr; Skinner and Doggett shared The Love That Dare Not Speak Its Name; Moronica delivered Scully's baby out in the middle of nowhere whilst surrounded by alien replicants and Biblical imagery; Doggett launched an internal investigation of Kersh; finally, some tall guy kissed Scully and said something obtuse about the truth.

The time-date stamp appears over a shot of the Washington Monument; obviously, we're in Washington. It's forty-eight hours later. Is that forty-eight hours after the events of the season finale, or forty-eight hours after Xena drowned her would-be suitor? Why am I so confused already? And does the Washington Monument, the world's most famous phallic symbol, signify something in the way of plot? Because, from what I read, Mulder and Scully have "obviously" consummated their relationship, but that obviousness was news to me. I wonder if I was perhaps supposed to be reading more into the little things. Like architecture. Anyway. We're at Scully's house, where some guy is wearing a bathing suit and taking a shower in her bathroom. Apparently, Duchovny took his stand-in with him, because this individual has a completely different body type. In fact, it might be a woman. Maybe Mulder's left because he's undertaken gender-reassignment surgery and he wants to start his new life as a woman far, far away. Maybe in beautiful Twin Peaks! While he/she is scrubbing, and Scully wanders around in her jammies, the MiracleWhoTheHellEvenKnows Baby starts crying. Scully closes the bathroom door and picks up her wailing son up, looking sad. Her hair is really cute; longer, and a little bit flippy. Never mind that it's a massive continuity error for her to have completely different hair a mere forty-eight hours after we last met. And I'm not even going to mention how impossible it is that Scully's already back to her fighting weight. Because, for season nine, I'm letting all that nitpicky stuff go. I'm just letting it go. This means, of course, that my recaps will be, like, three pages long. Scully pats William on the back and murmurs Comforting Mommy things, and walks him into the living room. An impossible number of suitcases sit in front of the door. Like, if this is Mulder's stuff -- and come on, we know it is -- he's dismantled his leather couch and is taking it with him. The man didn't have a bed for countless years! There's no way he has this much stuff. And if he's on the run -- as he must be, because I'll never believe that he willingly ditched Scully and their child -- why is he taking so much stuff? You can't go on the lam with more luggage than you can fit in your car! Jesus. Yeah, that thing I just said about giving up nitpicking? I'm working on it.