X-Files

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Nothing Important Happened Today, Part I

Doggett's Home on the Range. There's so much door opening on this show. Does Chris Carter not know how else to open a scene? Anyway, this time it's Doggett, opening the door for The Lone Gunmen. "Collecting for the needy and unemployed. Open the door," Frohike calls. Doggett thanks them for coming over on such short notice. Byers mutters that they have nothing better to do, and Frohike warns that they may "hit [him] up for some coin." Doggett furrows his brow and asks what the hell happened to them. Langly enters the house and mutters that Doggett shouldn't ask. Oh, and Langly? Has a blue face. I think this is all some in-jokey reference to The Lone Gunman's failure to thrive. The blue face? I don't know. I'm not going to ask. Anyway, they get settled in, and Byers tells Doggett that they cracked into the Department of Interiors mainframe, like he asked, and got all the files on Iceman. "And?" Doggett asks. Frohike crabs that they aren't mind readers. "What do you want to know?" Doggett shrugs. He thought something might jump out at them. Langly comments that the only thing untoward in Iceman's files is "a rabid obsession with water." ["Yes, how odd an affectation for an employee of the EPA. Not." -- Wing Chun]

Back at Quantico, Scully removes her cute little autopsy glasses and tells Moronica that Iceman drowned. "You're looking at me like you're hoping there's something more, but there isn't. That's it." Moronica tells her that she's just "amazed" that Scully "can do this." Scully's like, this is my job. "But you're doing it now," Moronica says. Aw, man, I sense some more whale songs coming on. I think Moronica has a crush on Scully, although I couldn't tell you if it was a girl crush, or, you know, a crush crush. Or if this is how Chris Carter thinks women talk to each other, all complimenting each other all the time and gazing moonily at each other. On the other hand, I do think Scully could use a girl friend. She needs someone to help her over-analyze Mulder's emails. "Something did happen, didn't it?" Moronica asks. Scully looks down. "I know what you're afraid of. That there's something wrong with your baby," Moronica continues. The Tinkly AlienMiracleBaby Theme Song starts up on the soundtrack. Scully looks up at Moronica. Eyebrow. Woo! "We can let our fears get the better of us. We can, uh, imagine things, make connections with things that aren't there. Like with this man," Scully says. Moronica -- because, you know, she's all empathic and whatnot -- knows that Scully is just deeply, deeply in denial. She assures Scully that she's "there for [her]." And eventually, she'll just...be there. "I'd never betray a confidence," Moronica tells her. "There is something," Scully says. Moronica, of course, thinks she's getting some dirt on the baby, but Scully's talking about the body. Fingerprints. On his ankle. Moronica and Scully stare at each other. "Was someone holding him down?" Moronica asks. "I don't know how, or who," Scully tells her.

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X-Files

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