X-Files

Episode Report Card
Jessica: B+ | 934 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Providence (2)

Scully's House of Dead Sisters and Kidnapped Babies. "We found her," Scully tells Moronica when she opens the door. Moronica's all, who? Scully's all, the woman who snatched William, you idiot. She's part of Ross's Wack UFO Cult. Moronica stares at Scully blankly as Scully explains that she needs Moronica to do some sleuthing for her, and she needs to do it on the down low. Behind Scully, the Lone Gunmen sit at the kitchen table, poring over a laptop. Moronica walks farther into the living room and quietly asks Scully why she's not bringing the Bureau in. Scully's like, "Because I don't trust them, duh." Behind them, the Gunmen squeal. "We logged on," Langly explains. "As if there was ever a doubt," Frohike says. Moronica and Scully run into the kitchen, where the Gunmen explain that they've tapped into the phone company's mainframe to track the signal of the cell phone Byers hid under the cushion of William's car seat before he was snatched. And when would he have time to do that? While he had a gun to his head? Was he all, "Look! Elvis!" and when Overcoat Woman looked away, he stuck the phone under the car seat? And then handed the baby to her? Whatever. Byers explains that if they can find the phone, they'll find the kid along with it. Unless the cult people take him out of his car seat, geniuses; it's not like they planted a homing device in the back of William's neck. Which really isn't a bad idea, considering. Beep beep beep beep beep beep beep. Everyone stares at Byers's phone. "No signal," he announces grimly. Scully makes her Stricken Mother of the Year face, then runs to the sofa and retrieves her firearm. Moronica follows. "This is madness, and you know it," she says. Scully whirls around and says that she has no alternative. The Magical Jesus Mystery Tour Music from last year's season finale is cued up on the soundtrack as Mark Snow leans back in his chair in the studio and idly peruses the latest issue of Soap Opera Digest. You guys, Theresa made a deal with the devil on Passions! And the thing with Passions is, when you say the phrase "deal with the devil," you literally mean it. It's brill. I wish someone would make a deal with the devil on this show and shake things up a bit. But anyway. Moronica and Scully stare at each other. "You coming with me?" Scully spits. "Or am I going alone?" Moronica thinks about this for six seconds and follows Scully out the door.

X-Files

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