Inside, they're packing up for the Bad Idea Hike. Doggett announces that it's not that far to the Sheriff's station, and that they'll catch a ride into town from him. Or something. "Dad? The Sheriff," Tommy whines. Jeffrey gruffly tells the kid not to worry about it. Instead, Tommy buries his face in Moronica's midsection. "What's up, Tommy? What's the matter?" Moronica asks. "I'm mind-numbingly boring despite being evil," Tommy mumbles into her gut. Someone knocks on the door. Doggett trudges downstairs to get it.
It's the Sheriff! Or is it? "You're a sight for sore eyes," Doggett says, opening the door and letting him inside. "I'm the Sheriff," the Sheriff says. Really? Then your uniform, badge, and car with the word "Sheriff" on the side are really quite misleading. By the way, it's so not really the Sheriff. I mean, it looks like the Sheriff, but his eyes are all cold and dead and bored inside. Plus, he doesn't appear to know his own name. Everyone scampers down the stairs to stare at the pseudo-Sheriff. He doesn't think they ought to leave the house. "It's too cold," he says. "It's not him," Jeffrey says quickly. "What?" Doggett asks, turning to look at the Big Bad Dad. The "Sheriff" draws his gun as soon as Doggett's head is turned. "Gun," Moronica monotones, the same way I'd say, like, "Hand me that pencil," or "I have to go to FedEx." Doggett whirls around, and he and the "Sheriff" tussle. Tommy watches, evil eyes open extra wide. Eventually, Doggett punches the "Sheriff" in the gut, and his hand just goes right through the skin, making a neat round little hole. Everyone looks surprised. Well, everyone not related to Evil Tommy. The Non-Sheriff falls over with a thud.
Scully's, where Gabe is transfixed by Mulder's badge. Why does Scully have Mulder's badge? Wouldn't he have turned that in when he left the Bureau? And if he didn't leave the Bureau, isn't it possible that he might need it? "So this is Johnny Fabulous, huh?" Gabe asks. "Oh, Mulder's so smart, Mulder's so dreamy," he sighs, in a girly tone. Scully stomps over and snatches the badge from him, still holding a phone to her ear. "That's all Leyla ever talks about," Gabe whines. "Mulder and Scully, Scully and Mulder, blah blah blah." Okay, that I might take as a shout-out. Come on! Seriously! No? You're no fun. Scully rolls her eyes and hangs up the phone. She's getting the Sheriff's machine. Gabe is surprised that she's worried, and exposits that they didn't find anything in the cat. Scully explains that she's worried for exactly that reason: they should have. "What does that mean?" Gabe asks. Scully tells him that the cat was trying to chew something out of its stomach, but there was nothing there to chew out. She thinks maybe Evil Tommy's Really Very Dead Mom mutilated herself under similar circumstances. Gabe wonders, worried, whether Scully thinks his sweet, sweet Leyla could be in danger. Scully shrugs that they're wasting their time talking about it. She picks up the phone yet again. "Who are you calling now?" Gabe asks. "My mom. I'm going to beg her to baby-sit," Scully says. Shout! Out! Or not. If it was really a shout-out, Scully would have said, "Skinner. I'm going to beg him to baby-sit, because everyone knows my mother is totally incompetent when it comes to keeping the MiracleBaby safe from kidnappers and religious nutjobs."