Episode Report Card
Jessica: D+ | 1 USERS: B
Scary Monsters

So, Doggett goes back to the house, telling Jeffrey to wait outside. He meets Tommy in the living room. The kid watches, wide-eyed, as Doggett takes a can of gasoline and slops liquid all over the living room. "What are you doing?" Tommy asks. Doggett splashes gasoline on an armchair. "You're a smart boy, Tommy -- what does it look like I'm doing?" he grits. "No way," Tommy brats. "If I don't stop you, you're going to let my friends die," Doggett points out. "Think I'm going to let that happen?" Doggett spreads gas all around Tommy's feet. "You're lying. You'd get burnt, too," Tommy says. "You're just trying to scare me." Doggett stares at him, then lights a match using only his thumb. Wow, he is a man. No, that's not sarcastic. He made fire by snapping his fingers: that was manly as hell. "Scared yet?" he asks. And then tosses the match. The living room ignites immediately. Doggett stands in the middle of a ring of fire and looks Tommy right in the eye. The kid faints.

Out in the car, Leyla's eyes have stopped bleeding. "Thank God," she says. "My face! My beautiful face!" Moronica sits up in the back seat. She looks down at her belly. She's all right. "Where's John?" she asks. At this, Scully and Gabe pull up, driving a Jeep with a snowplow hooked to the front. The two of them run to the front door of the compound. Gabe knocks the door down with his shoulder...then falls to the ground, yelping in pain. Hee. Jeffrey runs inside to find Doggett holding Tommy in his arms. "He's breathing," Doggett says. Scully runs over to examine the kid, as Leyla checks on Gabe, and Doggett clocks in with Moronica. She's fine, she says, leaning down to touch the liquid still on the carpet in the very un-burnt house. "It's just water," she breathes. "That's not what Tommy believed," Doggett shrugs.

LBO. Close shot of the "I Want to Believe" poster. Do you get it? No, really. Do you? Because I think the statement that this episode made about the imagina3t6[9-36 . Whoops. Lost consciousness from the boredom again. Last time this week, promise! Gabe reads the poster out loud, to make sure that the illiterate members of the viewing audience Get It. "So, this is where the magic happened, huh?" Gabe wonders. "It still happens," Leyla breathes reverently. "I'm happy it's in good hands. As all of the people watching right now, all seven of them, should be." Scully rolls her eyes in the kids' direction. She looks smoking hot in this scene, all fluffy red hair and dark pinstriped suit. Doggett and Moronica stroll in, as Gabe shares that Leyla is now obsessed with Doggett. "As everyone now watching ought to be, as well," he adds stiffly, looking in the camera. Earth to 1013: those of us still watching are already either on the Doggett Train, or never will be. So go back to the writers' room and don't come out until you figure out the goddamn mytharc, and then we'll talk. Leyla commends Doggett for solving the case and saving their lives. "I have to say, it's clear to me that you were better equipped for this challenge than even Agent Mulder would have been," she twitters. Doggett rolls his eyes. "Your lack of imagination saved our lives," Leyla tells him. "Gee, thanks," Doggett retorts. "That didn't come out right," Leyla mutters. Scully wonders what happened to Evil Tommy. Moronica tells her that they just returned from "the psych center," and the team of doctors assembled to disassemble the brat's brain was totally flummoxed. So they've instituted a "stopgap treatment -- a way to stifle his imagination."

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