X-Files

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Sunshine Days

Upstairs, Oliver comes out of a bedroom holding his Super Collectible Ow! My Nose! Football. "Oliver, are you ready?" Dr. Anspaugh calls. An electric charge runs through the football and into Oliver's hand. He drops the ball. Literally. A sweat breaks out on his forehead and he clutches his hand in pain.

Cut to FBI HQ, and a tight shot of Skinner, who looks somewhat nonplussed. He looks over at Doggett, who's just looking up at him calmly. Moronica grins wildly. Scully flashes a very toothy smile. Skinner takes a deep breath and looks over at Oliver and Dr. Anspaugh, who's sitting next to some totally random guy. The camera pulls back: Skinner is hovering three feet off the ground. He does a slow, careful flip. Scully chortles extremely gleefully for a woman who's lost her true lover, best friend, and much-wished-for baby. Skinner is slowly lowered to the ground. "Wow," he chuckles. "May I have a glass of water?" Oliver asks, weakly. Skinner shows him into the exterior office, saying he won't be a minute. "Anything you need, just ask Arlene."

Interior office. "So, what do you think, Dr. Jaycocks?" Skinner asks the Guy I Don't Think We've Ever Seen Before, But I'm Sure Someone Will Inform Me Otherwise If I'm Wrong. Dr. Jaycocks smiles and announces that "there are a hell of a lot of Physics books due for a rewrite." Scully and Dr. Anspaugh exchange glances. Scully's all, "Whee! I majored in Physics!" "And I think a year from now, you and Dr. Anspaugh will be in Stockholm, accepting the Nobel prize," Dr Jaycocks tells her. Scully looks just as pleased as punch. "So, you're on board with this?" Doggett asks Skinner. Skinner shrugs. I'm sure they'll talk about it over pasta primavera at home tonight. Moronica wonders what will happen next. "I want Kersh to see this. I want the director himself in here. Do you realize what this means? It insures that they can't shut you down," Skinner says. "It means The X-Files will go on forever." I certainly hope you all grasped the irony of that line. Did you? Are you sure? You might need to rewind and make sure. Because that there's some good subtlety, people. Anyway, everyone is smiling when there's a clunk and a gasp outside. "Agent Scully," Arlene yelps, flinging the door open.

Everyone runs out. Oliver's having a seizure. "I saw a big spark, and then he just collapsed," Arlene says. Doggett calls for the EMS.

Hospital. Scully, Doggett, and Moronica get their Frequent Visitor Cards punched and visit Oliver, who's all hooked up to shit. Dr. Anspaugh sputters that the seizure must have been caused by "all the excitement." And he needs bed rest! Then they'll be right back on schedule for their Nobel Prize and piles and piles of cash! Scully gestures with her head, and they all head out into the hallway. Apparently, Oliver's electrolytes are imbalanced, he went into shock, blah blah blah he's totally screwed up. He's also suffering "a multi-system organ failure. Gradually, his body is consuming itself. It's been going on for months. Maybe even years." Everyone puts on his or her sad face, except Moronica, who looks like she's wondering where she left her car keys. "What's causing this?" Moronica asks. "This power of his. It's eating him alive," Doggett says. Scully agrees, and tells them that the more Oliver shows off, the worse he'll get. And then he'll drop dead. Moronica looks up and into Oliver's room. "What the hell?" she asks. His bed is surrounded by Bradys.

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X-Files

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