X-Files

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Jessica: C | Grade It Now!
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Bor-Ring!

Randall and Tommy confab. Randall tells his brother piteously that he just repeated to Scully what Tommy said to Doggett. Tommy's mid-plot, and sneers that "they have a problem to take care of," and, apparently, Tommy's as guilty of harassing the English language as he is of harassing his pitiful little secretary...

...who is having her turn under the Doggett and Scully Microscope of Truth. I really don't like her. There's no real reason. I just find her irritating and want to unleash upon her my patented Fists of Fury. She whines that she just keeps the books for AAA-1 Surekill, and that's all. Just the books. Only the books! Oh, sit on it, Tammy. She squeals again that Tommy never told her about anything, that she just kept the books. She kept the books! Only the books! The books alone! This woman's voice is so high-pitched that dogs all over the neighborhood begin to howl. Take it down a notch, Whiney McMoanster. Scully strolls over to Tammy and informs her that the FBI's theory is that Carlton Chase was selling the drugs that Tommy stole -- he was their "fence," in drug-running terminology. Doggett wonders why Tommy would kill his partner in crime. "Doesn't seem like good business," he drawls. "Unless it wasn't business. Unless it was personal," Scully breathes. The dialogue in this episode is all about the breathy Scully and the sentence fragments. Tammy purses her lips and asks if she's under arrest. Scully bats her eyes.

Tammy's apartment. She locks, like, twelve deadbolts, and collapses on her pitiful day bed. She wanders over to the window, where she once again sees the Spying Silhouette. She looks thoughtful.

Back at, er, wherever Doggett and Scully have set up investigative shop, Doggett informs his lovely partner that Tammy's phone records indicate a series of phone calls from Tammy's home to Carlton Chase. Man, everyone loves this girl. Maybe I ought to start dressing like Marty McFly and whinging in a higher-pitched tone than usual. It seems to slay the men in Worcester, anyway.

Tammy somehow tracks down the Mysterious Silhouette Man, who has conveniently left his front door open. I so don't care about this.

Back at Special Agent Central, Doggett cooks up a theory in which Tommy discovers that Tammy is boning Carlton, and kills Carlton in fit of jealous rage. Or has him killed, "assuming Randall's the trigger man." Scully doubts that it was, in fact, Tommy who was jealous.

Over at Murky Lighting Central, Tammy tells Randall softly that she knows it was he who killed Carlton -- on her behalf, it is implied. She signs demurely that she still needs help. Randall looks at her longingly. I stare equally longingly at the wooden chopsticks that came with my Thai Taley takeout. Because I'd rather jam them through my eye than watch the rest of this deadly dull episode.

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X-Files

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